PUTIN PUTS OUT, KIM GOES TO CHINA AND YOUR OTHER POLITICAL TALES

[7 mins read]

Attention on deck boys and girls, the Captain of your favorite political column is reporting for duty. Gather around under the moonlight and let’s find out what these big babies who suckle at the mammary glands of political power have been up to lately.

PUTIN PUTTING OUT… AGAIN!

When you see a World leader who invites the press to come have shoots of his bare chest then messing with him would not exactly represent a high level of wisdom now would it? 

Golden rule for a healthy living; (and you really should have learnt this by now) Do not make Vladimir Putin’s crosshairs your siesta spot.

The tit-for-tat is a game The Russian Corleone is well versed in. The Political chess board is his niche. When you see a man that has being and remained in power for the past 18 years in a country like Russia, best believe it goes beyond what meets the eye. He combines intelligence, personal charm and ruthlessness so effortlessly.

The case of 66year old Russian national-cum-British spy Colonel Sergei Skripai is an interesting one. He’s almost certainly the second case of a former Russian spy being exposed to lethal chemical substance in UK.

First was Alexander Litvinenko in 2006. An officer of the Russian Federal Security Service (FSB)-Russia’s spy agency. He fled court persecution in Russia and was granted asylum in the UK. As expected, from the comfort of his new home, the UK, he openly criticised Putin’s government, made shocking revelations and wrote books.

Litvinenko in his final moments of life

Summary? He suddenly fell ill and died 3 weeks after of lethal polonium-210-induced acute radiation syndrome. The diagnosis was only made on the day of his death as the substance was almost undetectable in diagnostic investigation. The poison had never been used before.

“You may succeed in silencing one man but the howl of protest from around the world will reverberate, Mr Putin, in your ears for the rest of your life”

                                 Excerpts from his last known  statement

Col. Skripai on the other hand was a Russian officer who spied for the British, was caught and charged with high treason and sentenced to prison for 13 years. Luck came his way and a prisoner exchange with Russia was facilitated, thus finding safety in the UK.

Double agent Sergei Skripai

Problem was he was still within reach.
On the 4^th March 2018, he and his daughter visiting from Moscow were poisoned with Novichok Nerve agent. Luckily as at the time of writing, both had made it out of the initial critical states and are on their way to recovery.

The event has since started off an international diplomacy storm with the UK and her allies expelling Russian diplomats and Moscow gladly returning the favour.

The event has kickstarted a chain of diplomatic responses by UK and her allies (including NATO) and swift  counter-responses of the same kind from Russia. About 145 diplomats on each side have been kicked out in a tit-for-tat system

This column hopes for a swift recovery for the victims especially the Police Officer who got contaminated during investigations.

KIM GOES TO CHINA

Alright guys, I have no idea what to write here or how to report this so I say we leave it blank, right…?

A FIGHTER AND A WOMAN...

Winnie Madikizela-Mandela, ex-Wife of the late South African freedom icon and former President Nelson Mandela eventually succumbed to the cold hands of death on Monday 2nd April 2018 at age 81.

A freedom fighter to the very end. This column prays for the repose of this soul and hopes that history is responsible enough to shine the light on her role in the struggle.

Hell art no fury like a woman freedom fighter. With her iconic doek and her raised fist symbolizing "Amandla" (Power), She fought the ugly beast called racism tooth and nail. Oh She raised hell for the apartheid regime.

South African women have commemorated her by dressing in black and adorning her trademark doek while raising their Amandla fist.
#AllBlackWithADoek trends in the nature.

RUS IN VREDE Winnie...

KIM GOES TO CHINA

Wrong!

Wait a minute, show of hands if you thought I really wasn’t going to talk about this column’s second favorite world leader going to China.

Your MCM  (L) and a fan (R) (Some call him the Chinese President Xi Jinping though)

Kim Jong-Un, the strange occupant of the North Korean Iron throne for the very first time as a leader undertook a trip abroad.

We like this guy. Instead of the usual and boring Presidential jets and airport guard of honor that other leaders do, our guy rolled into China in an ridiculously armoured dark green train while shutting down the Chinese capital…Like a Boss!

Travelling in a train to another nation has to either be a mark of proper badassdry or just genuine fear of getting blown up to pieces in the sky. This columnist is bad at guessing 

The once isolated leader will now follow up that trip and meeting with the Chinese government leadership with meetings with neighbour South Korea’s leader later this month and American President, Donald J. Trump later next month.

A convoy of 30 Batmobiles rolling into Washington DC with Kim Jong-Un on board and a tympanic membrane-rupturing blasting of Lil Wayne's "Drop the World" is all this columnist pleads. Is that too much to ask? 

The columnist sincerely hopes the meeting with POTUS holds in Washington and Kim arrives in a convoy of 30 Batmobiles making an entrance while Lil Wayne and Eminem’s ‘Drop the world’ song plays in the background.

ON A FINAL NOTE...

Liverpool and Egyptian forward, Mohammed Salah

This columnist celebrates the moment of absolute madness of the more than One million Egyptian voters who turned out for the presidential election to vote NONE of the candidates on the ballot instead voting for a non-contesting, non-political football star, Mo Salah.

This is not a drill boys and girls, IT DID HAPPEN. A million times!

But don't get any ideas Nigerians, by 2019, we're absolutely, positively NOT voting Goalkeeper Ikechukwu Ezenwa.

Yeah, you heard me, you're all fun and stuff but a snowball will survive in a furnace before we vote you as President 

     ---------------------
Did you like this article? You'll definitely like others like...
1. The Long Lost Sacred Art Of Shutting Up
2. Pray For Me

3. Does Nigeria Exist?