LABELS

[5 min read]

Often times, when I look at the bios of people on social media, I see different adjectives that describe who they are, like: feminist, tech, proud Muslim(ah), Christian, proud black woman just to mention a few. It amazes me how those few words and phrases give me a general idea of who the person I am about to welcome into my space is.

Most times, these words fit into their online persona and other times it doesn’t. It is also of worth to note that many times, even in our daily lives, we have labels that we go by, either in our appearances, profession, affirmations or vibes. It reminds me of my article on stereotypes and I always keep myself in check about stereotyping a person. But now I think, what is it with labels? Why are we as a generation so proud to label ourselves and place ourselves within a box? Honestly, I have struggled with the idea that I am one thing, that everything I am can be summarized in a word or statement.

When I am described with a word or phrase, I actually take offence to it; because I believe that I am part of something way bigger, and those words and adjectives limit me and put me in a box. I feel like I am more than my gender, sexuality, faith or hobbies taken individually to identify me. So when I am asked to describe myself, it is as though you are giving me a blank page to sell myself to you. I am not just a medical student, I am not just a believer, I am not just a girl or a writer or a sexual and reproductive health advocate, I am more. I am a lot of things yet to be discovered. I am no longer what I was yesterday because I have grown, and no matter what I aspire to be tomorrow, I could be someone else. I could be the first person to do something, I could be the first person to find a cure to the current pandemic. I am part of something way bigger, bigger than words can describe, bigger than even I can fully describe. I am the living word. I grow every day and as I do, I leave some labels behind.

However, labels aren’t necessarily a problem. Your labels allow people to be able to identify you, categorize you, and invest with and in you. Everyone has their choices and desires and even at the store, we check the labels of the goods we want to buy before we do. Difference is that those goods do not grow, they can only get bad, of which you might be able to tell on the label (expiry date, NAFDAC number…)

So, while labels help identify us, they might not fit into who we really are or they may portray us negatively (I mean, who likes negative labels). Labels have the ability to not tell the full story or the right story. They leave very little room to expand borders. I have seen very good people lose opportunities and positions because of labels that are beyond their control. Labels of gender, tribe and sexuality that have limited the other party from seeing beyond their beliefs into the skills and other interesting attributes the individuals have to offer. But as life is, labels are important and they are not going away any time soon, we might as well deal with it. My advice is just to give people a chance. They are more interesting and most likely have more to offer you than the labels you have put on them. You could lose out on meeting the love of your life or your business partner, when that happens the labelled individual loses almost as much as you do. 

Always remember to do unto others how you want them to do on to you.

Conclusively, stealing the words of Jamike, when you reduce a person to a label, you see them in one dimension; but nobody is one-dimensional.

This article looks familiar right? Yes, that is because I have written one on stereotypes. If you haven’t read it, then you have missed out. It is evergreen.

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Recipe For White Soup

[1 min read]

This is a soup popular among the ibos in the eastern part of Nigeria. It is an assorted meal which is used to mark special occasions or when a pregnant woman gives birth.

SUN KISSED

[2 min read]

When I was cold and alone,
You showed me warmth and made me whole.
In your rays I shine and glow,
Bathed by your light my soul has grown.

What we do for love...

[4min read]

I look at the world,
And in a spectral plain,

I see a world full of colours.

Some calm and flowing,

Some angry and swirling,

Some dark and depressing.

And one encompasses all:

Love,

Delving into the calm, warm colors,

People find peace in love;

People find joy in love;

People become happy in love;

Love can be good.

Masked Comfort

[1 min read]

You're my bed of roses;

Red, the ambassador of danger

Yet I'm beguiled by you

My mind replays you all day

Let's Imagine

[2 min Read]

Let's imagine I could face my fears;
Do it today against all odds,

Vibes - Part 1

She loved me.

She really did… but not just the way I wanted. And I loved her too. Unrequited love was a bad religion. But it didn't matter as much as protecting her, and I wondered if I could, this time.

You see, she was a magnet.  A magnet for trouble. She loved the rush, the danger and everything that came with it. I despised it. We were polar opposites. She always exhumed confidence and brilliance. I was a shadow in the background - even the cameras couldn't catch me. I was non-existent.

I'll never know how - was it coincidence, or fate; a series of fortunate events or destiny? But this is our story.

When Man meets Woman

[1min Read]

When man meets woman, it's fate as far as the eye can see,

Its destiny wielded by all forces earth, fire and sea.

BANKSTATEMENTS POST 4

Clogged In The Upstairs

Hi @bankstatements1,

Some years ago, my best friend and I met two guys who were extremely close. One of them became my friend and got real close to me, the other also got close to my friend. After a while, we all started dating. I and the guy, my friend and the other guy.

Everything was okay for a while, then I got closer to the other guy (my friend’s boyfriend) and to my initial surprise we started getting intimate too. 
I then realized I really liked him and he liked me too. After a very long time of fighting it and equally doing everything we could to avoid it, I got tired and I could not continue with the deceit. I had found someone else I liked more than my boyfriend so I broke up with my boyfriend without no one’s consultation.

BANKSTATEMENTS POST 3

                      

Lost In A Dark Tunnel

Hi @bankstaements1,

I met my girl some years back. When I did, there was another guy but I got to know her better and I basically got her despite the odds. We are almost two years together now, but some things are going wrong.

BANKSTATEMENTS POST 2

Stuck Between Waters 

Hi, @bankstatements1

My story starts two years ago. I was in love with this girl and she loved me too or so I thought. We started dating after several months of friendship. 
One day, she called me and said that she had lost interest in the relationship,that it just didn’t work for her anymore. I tried to talk to her and hold on but after dragging on for days, I had to let her go. 

Her best friend who was my confidante and close friend who I met my girlfriend through, felt sorry for me and even tried stepping in and talking to her not to do it but it was all in vain all so much so it became alright with me. All through my pain and sadness, her friend was there for me and she didn’t care or look back. Months went by and I got even closer to her friend.

OH! DEAR PAIN.

"You can't be serious Phoebe, can you hear yourself?"; He said; 'Babe I love you, I can't do this without you, I can't function, you drive me."

"Stop getting me worked up please, I hate it when you use the personal pronoun."

He continued; "Shit! Alright, I'm sorry, isn't apology what you need? Here it is. Honey you know we belong together."
Just don't make the mistake of saying 'I' next time, it's always 'we', I hate correcting that. Please always say 'we'."

"But that's the problem', she said; Chris you yell and rain insults over unnecessary 'choses'. This isn't meant to be an issue, I don't even know when I said 'I'. I think I need a break from all this, it's so overwhelming."

"What the frack are you talking about?", With clenched teeth, he wished she was with him at the moment, he would really hit some sense in.

'You're my answered prayer. Phoebe, on the 1st of January, I prayed for a soul mate and God gave you to me, can't you see that we're meant for each other? Baby you complete me. No one can love you like I do.  Alright just forget this happened, let's move past this Duchess."

"Hello, hello, are you there? I hate it when you're this quiet, it's either we're in this or we aren't and so help me "Mon Dieu", baby mind your response.' "

With shaky hands, she hung up and switched off her phone. She slumped on her feet, and buried her face in her palms, tears building castles and mucus dripping. "How on earth did I get to this point in my life?", she thought.

I'm only 21 years, I can't handle all this  at my age. I'm too "jeune" for all these baggage. Utterly confused, she remembered "le jour" she met Chris; A working student looking to earn extra pennies for her bogus school work et al. All thanks to her father who thinks her studying "la musique" is a classic curse from the gods and would have nothing to do with supporting her financially. Her "pauvre mere" can only try, her crayfish business didn't thrive as much as before. She had evening shifts after school in one of the fast foods within. It was during one of those working hours that she met Chris. He was everything she didn't want in a man; Muscular and firm, looked like a heavyweight boxer, fair and has an amazing "visage". A sweet talker and quite the orator. He smiled as he walked up to the counter. And boy, was he fine! His well set dentition didn't help "les affaires" either.

"Can I have Farm fresh yoghurt please and a sausage roll?" The words rolled out of his lips so well, in a nano second, she wasn't in control of her body movements, they were all working against each other. She managed to get his orders without burning her fingers. She can't be falling for this guy.
Phoebe are you stupid? But he was like a breath of fresh air, like he walked out of TRJ Sunday style magazine.

 "You're really pretty, Can I have your number, seems you're busy. We could talk some more when you're less 'occupée' ". This dude isn't cut out for long stories, and he's damn precise "aussi".
Well, she's sorry but he has met "le faux" person this evening. With courage from nowhere, she put up the most serious look and said "No Sir, I don't think it's necessary to have my number and if you don't mind, I've got others to attend to". She wasn't gonna bulge, he should take his handsome face elsewhere. Next s'il vous plaît.

He was shocked to the marrows. Women don't say 'no' to him, especially not her kind, she looked so fragile that he thought she would be malleable.
Even he could have sworn she fell for his charms few minutes ago, or did he misread something? No no no, "les femmes" don't reject his advances, it doesn't work that way. Well, time would tell. He was in town for the next few days so there is "beaucoup de" time.

After he left, Phoebe couldn't stop thinking about this guy, the air around him wasn't cool but she felt so drawn to breathe it still. She didn't like the effect he had on her but he seemed so virile and dapper. But then she had too much drama going on in her life, was she ready for more? Was she?

#Anticipate

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Christmas for George

The old man sat in his gas station on a cold Christmas Eve. He hadn't been anywhere in years since his wife had passed away. He had no decorations, no tree, no lights. It was just another day to him. He didn't hate Christmas, just couldn't find a reason to celebrate. There were no children in his life. His wife had gone.

He was sitting there looking at the snow that had been falling for the last hour and wondering what it was all about when the door opened and a homeless man stepped through. Instead of throwing the man out, George, Old George as he was known by his customers, told the man to come and sit by the space heater and warm-up.

"Thank you, but I don't mean to intrude," said the stranger. "I see you're busy. I'll just go"

"Not without something hot in your belly," George turned and opened a wide mouth Thermos and handed it to the stranger. "It ain't much, but it's hot and tasty. Stew. Made it myself. When you're done there's coffee and it's fresh."

Just at that moment he heard the "ding" of the driveway bell. "Excuse me, be right back," George said. There in the driveway was an old 53 Chevy. Steam was rolling out of the front. The driver was panicked.

Be The Smart One

Many years ago in a small Indian Village, a farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender. The Moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer’s beautiful Daughter. So he proposed a bargain.

He said he would forgo the farmer’s debt if he could marry his Daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the Proposal.

Unseen

PROLOGUE

What is the truth?

As opposed to the simple idealistic meaning of the truth being exactly what happened, the many grey areas tell us that the perception and duality of people, and their idiosyncrasies, always produce multiple truths. There is no “one truth”. If an event is seen by one person, and watered down to the masses over the various descriptions told by other people who heard it from the one true viewer of the act, then the truth is lost forever - It has then become a fiction-a representation of what the mass public finds most viable. The story that sticks the most - the one that sounds the most "realistic". It is then printed out, written in encyclopedias, taught to the children, and used as a reference point. Over time, it becomes “the truth”. At this point, it no longer matters what truly happened, but only what everyone believes truly happened. So then I ask this question again,

What’s the true meaning of the truth?

CHAPTER ONE

I finally break from my trance. I glance at the clock and I see what time it is, It’s 4am. Sh**. Its amazing how time flies when your mind is overly concentrated on one subject, or then again, when your mind can’t seem to grasp any form of concentration. I’ve been seated perched on the same spot for roughly 6 hours. It’s not as if I chose to sit in the same spot for that long. No. it’s because I can’t move, my body wont obey me anymore. Why? Because I’ve never seen anything like this before.

"If"

By Paul Harvey

If I were the Devil.....

I would gain control of the most powerful nation in the world.

I would delude their minds into thinking that they had come from man's effort, instead of God's blessings.

I would promote an attitude of loving things and using people, instead of the other way around.

I would dupe entire states into relying on gambling for their state revenue.

I would convince people that character is not an issue when it comes to leadership.

The Casualties

THE CASUALTIES

By Boluwatife Afolabi

Ifem,

Life is a battle

and like all similar debacles

we must deal with casualties,

cry for them,

become them even-

Husbands,

too broken to return-

to eager wives

to hungry kids

to randy mistresses.

Notepad (By Timi Raji)

8 lies that the mother told

A lot of people don't know how much mothers sacrifice or do for them on a daily basis. They pray, they worry, they withhold themselves from many things - just to ensure their children have the best. This is a post by an unknown author, chronicling the life of lies his mother lived for him.... just so happiness would, everyday, be his portion.

The 8 Lies that Mother told.

1. This story begins when I was a child.  I was born the son of a poor family. We often lacked enough food.  When it was time to eat, mother often gave me her share, saying, “Eat this rice, son.  I’m not hungry.”

 - That was Mother’s First Lie

One Good Turn

He was driving home one evening, on a two-lane country road. Work, in this small Midwestern community, was almost as slow as his beat-up Pontiac, but he never quit looking. Ever since the factory closed, he'd been unemployed, and with winter raging on, the chill had finally hit home.

It was a lonely road. Not many people had a reason to be on it, unless they were leaving. Most of his friends had already left. They had families to feed and dreams to fulfill, but he stayed on. After all, this was where he buried his mother and father. He was born here and knew the country.