The Curious Case of the Nigerian Presidency.

Today, we’re talking a bit of home-based politics.

I can’t promise a truckload of fun or butterflies as you read through, but come on, what happened to being patriotic?

Time to wrap ourselves with the Green and white fabric.

In an attempt to understand and explain the ways of the Soviet Union to his audience, the cigar-smoking, Homburg hat-donning and peace sign-waving wartime British Prime Minister - Sir Winston Churchill concluded: “It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma”

Like Sir Winston on the Soviet Union, our  knowledge of the Nigerian Political System is, at best, deficient of real facts 

Enigma was of course was an encryption machine used by the Adolf Hitler’s army to hide information about imminent attacks from the enemies (the allies).

In simple and basic terms, good ol’ Winston meant “Something very mysterious and hidden”

In simpler and more current terms, the quote best describes Nigerian Politics.

As a well-preserved age-long tradition, actual moves on the Nigerian Political Chess boards have been shrouded in secrecy. Behind an uncompromising Iron Curtain.

What happens in the seat of power (shown in the photo) stays in the seat of power

The Nigerian Politics situation can actually be very simple. Everyone plays their roles. Voters vote, winners hold office and shut the door; Voters keep themselves busy by speculating; the masses begin debating speculations at newspaper stands, offices, rooms, churches and virtually anywhere the tongue is not banned from wagging. In the end, no one really knows the real thing (not even the stuff moving Political Science experts). We are all in the dark.

For the masses, some speculations are crowned “the truth” or “fact” because of the level, age, reputation, experience et cetera of the source of the speculation. Other times, speculations are crowned based on logical standing.

But in time of crisis, like the recent holiday season fuel scarcity, “the truth” really is any opinion that tallies with the mood of the populace  

Your conclusion is a good as mine. The truth in Nigerian politics is an illusion.

That HAD always been the equation. Everyone lived in their roles peacefully until the equilibrium got a bit of a wicked disturbance. The disturbance in question was, and still is, a sudden and strange new desire by Nigerians to get the actual truth of events. A voracious appetite for information. This disturbance arrived with a frighteningly effective Chief of Staff - the Social Media.

The equation has been turned on its head. Years ago, the Nigerian Television Authority (NTA), a state-run Television and radio agency, was the sole dishing point of information about the government to the people, and they played their role well. They simply served what the big guys wanted the masses to be fed with. Little tasty-looking crumbs.

Then came Channels and TVC (private-owned TV Stations) with trademark insightful and objective reporting, to blow it wide open into a buffet.

That development rocked the political boat terribly, but promoted the masses closer to the truth. Then the mother of tempests took the boat and ripped it into pieces. Free for all. The Internet arrived. Twitter said hello.

There was no place to hide. With YouTube’s devastating ability to go back years, and dig stuff that cannot be denied, up also in play, the masses began closing in on the truth. The walls of the corridors of power began closing in.

“The public opinion is the rough draft of history”, a wise saying goes. Guess who still haven’t got the memo.

The current Nigerian Presidency.

For all of the President’s personal faults, I find his team’s staggering ability to surprise with new levels of ineffectiveness from time to time very amazing.

The Presidency is a company that consists of the President, The Vice President, and their “kitchen cabinet” (Chief of Staff, Secretary to the Government, Spokespersons, Advisers et cetera). They are the closest to the Chief chosen for the nation. Most importantly they are THE IMAGE MAKERS!

They speak for the Chief. Make allies out the masses. Get their hands dirty so the Chief can “lift up holy hands”. Basically, they do everything to not expose the boss to the raw feelings and temperaments of the masses. It is why Presidential media chats, stop and greets, interviews and most other public appearances, no matter how original they look are often well thought-out choreographies. Nothing is left to chance.

The golden rule for the dealing with the media as a Presidency is; “CONTROL THE NARRATIVE”. In other words, in dealing with a crisis, let your story be THE story. Let your voice be louder than speculations. Stay ahead. Let your official statement hit the news cycle first, and by all means keep it there! Oh and for the love of all that is good, let your official statement not be monumentally unwise, or insensitive to the plights of the masses (You know, like a documentary on the President’s softer side at a time of a terribly biting hardship that consists of horrible salaries, horrifying prices of food commodities and fuel scarcity with skyrocketing price of the little available).

It is therefore very difficult to understand the scope of service of the current President’s foot-soldiers. Halfway, you chalk down their errors as simple incompetence, on the other hand, you’re tempted to speculate that the aim of these acolytes of the President is to intentionally carve open their principal and deliver his head, figuratively, on a political pike.

From being caught in an outright shameless and absolutely disgusting case of corruption (The former Secretary to the Federal Government allegedly diverted funds earmarked for the Internally Displaced persons to his private vault of a pocket), to handling the President’s medical vacation episode with a spectacular level of cluelessness, Late, or complete lack of, official responses to serious National issues, forcing a “well-fitted” agbada of monumental insult on the Nigerian state by turning out a list of board appointees with nothing less than 5 names on that list already citizens of the grave.

I certainly can go further. In your spare time, you check out Mrs Lauretta Onochie’s twitter account for a start and marvel at such an appalling PR job She does for the President. By the way, she’s the President’s Special Assistant on Social Media. Her belligerent and sometimes classless style has done an exceptional job at making less friends for her principal.

With significant and consistent contributions from the President’s men, the goodwill reservoir that the President was so armed with when he rode to an unusual victory (ie beating an incumbent), in the 2015 polls has very nearly gone dry at an unbelievable rate

Traditionally, in a system like this, there should have been rolling of heads. The fact that we’ve not seen much of that scares this columnist. Is the President so loyal to his image-makers that they are allowed to get away with competing levels of incompetence? Is the Presidential actually satisfied with their output? (NOW THAT IS SCARY) Does the President know that eventually the buck stops at his doorstep? Does the President know that the amniotic fluid cushion that his men should, by their jobs, form around him is hardly existent and he has his rear unprotected and battered by public opinion?

The election season is making its final descent and it’s left to be seen what the President plans to do. An official and legitimate opinion poll (if there ever was one), will clearly spell out a few things to him: The lot of Nigerians has not improved under his administration, Nigerians are hurt about it, as they massively threw their weight and trust in him - and finally, it won’t take long before Nigerians put him at the very center of their agony.

The line between the free new hope the administration offered in 2015, and being qualified a failure for a government gets thinner by the day regardless of what the President’s men tell him.

Politics is perception. A successful government is one the people believe is successful, not necessarily one that performs excellently well enough for all to see. On the other hand, no matter how well you perform, if the people have a poor opinion of you and your government, best believed you’ve failed.

From my course of study, I have come to understand the grave importance of "showmanship". Likewise in politics, you must not just be doing something, you must be seen and thought by the public that you serve to be doing something.

Food for thought, Mr President.

Dear Reader, from this column, please go right ahead and have an outstanding 2018. 


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