The Other Party

[4 min read]

I have been on this earth - for 24 years, and I've learnt quite a lot of things. One of these things is that you should not kill yourself for other people.

I've come to realize that a lot of people simply don't understand the full effect that their actions or words can have on other people. There are many of us that expect people to react a particular way, just because it's "common sense" to us. Or because that is what we would do in that situation.

We don't seem to realize, that most people interact completely in "reactions". If you have realized it, then you start to learn how to design your actions in order to get an appropriate response.

You're angry. But you want to resolve something abi? You should not start out vexing like a madman bent on hot bloody murder. You may very well have a right, or good reason to be angry. But you should also be aware, that in your anger, you could say, or do something that would spark off the other person and turn into a huge fight between you.

But if you're the type that likes drama - or you want to show off your physical or verbal fighting skills, I guess maybe this would be what you'd prefer.

SMH. How sad...

But if you enjoy being a reasonable or logical human being, then what you need to do is first calm yourself down, organize your thoughts properly and use the appropriate approach to make the other party understand that your emotions are valid, and that they made a mistake that definitely needs to be addressed.

Realize that the person you're dealing with may not come from the same background that you do, may not react the same way you do, or put understanding or emphasis on the same words/actions that you do.

They are different. But just because they are different, doesn't mean you cannot come to reach mutual understanding.

This great misunderstanding of differences, however, is one of the things that has greatly put me off social interactions with people. Both online and in real life.

I got a message from someone the other day, on WhatsApp - which was a ridiculously long BC. It was practically a whole article. And she sent it on an instant messaging app. I ignored it till she sent another message reminding me of the BC she sent earlier. (Who even does that btw?) I told her that I know - and because i like being honest, I told her "I didnt read it though".

She then asked me why? "Is it because it's not a poem", I replied that it was far too long. And she told me, that as a medical student that I should be used to reading things longer than this, and that I should still read it. I was just stunned. I stopped replying after that.

Maybe I was being petty. Maybe I was tired of responding to people that think their side and view of life is the only suitable one in existence. Either way, it's done and gone, and we (myself included) can all learn lessons from this type of scenario. And this is one of the very lightest and simplest scenarios. There are many more ugly and ridiculous ones I've been faced with.

It's a simple lesson - Just remember, that you are not the same as everyone else. Even the most similar people can have disagreements. But it doesn't have to turn into a fight or argument. Our differences are just other sides of life. They can help us complete the picture once we fit them well enough. Like the different colors of the rainbow

The other party is just as important as you are. And doing this isn't just for them, but also for you. In the course of your life, you will need to learn how to deal with many different characters and egos. Make the most of your interactions and grow. Learn that your differences do not have to lead to division.

Respect my opinion, thank you very much.

The other party exists, to show you other sides of life.

(Do you have a story of a problem caused by someone not understanding your side? Comment below and tell us all about it!)

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