THE SCOUSPOCALYPSE- The Tears of a non-Liverpool Fan

 [5 min read]

25 points clear, already qualified for next year’s Champions’ League and could be title holders in less than 10 games. There, official notice, the world is about to be thrown into an apocalyptic state. Nothing, nothing, I repeat, is expected to be normal thereafter.

Like a freshly delivered Bride at the Groom's doorstep, Liverpool are about to lay their hands on this beauty.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Liverpool are going to win the league and so we’re screwed.

Merry Christmas Zimbabwe

Previously on this column, we examined elephants, grass, nuclear warheads and two guys who are not BFFs. Read up pal! at Bend the Knee

On the 21^st of November 2017, 13:53hours, Christmas came early for Zimbabweans. Good ol’ Saint Nicholas and his 8 Reindeer and pulled sleigh transport decided to make an early stop in the landlocked Southern African nation.

BEND THE KNEE!

Previously on this column: We talked...or well, I wrote and you probably read or stubbornly refused to open that link about Donald Trump's YOU'RE FIRED! anthem. Now open and read - or I cry. 

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“North Korea best not make any more threats to the United States. They will be met with fire and fury, and frankly power, the likes of which this world has never seen before” - President Donald Trump (United States)

"The Trump group's declaration of the reckless nuclear war exercises against the DPRK is a reckless behaviour, driving the situation into the uncontrollable phase of a nuclear war”- North Korean state-run newspaper Rodong Sinmun

"Now that the DPRK's (the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, North Korea's official name) capability to strike the very heart of the US at any given time has been physically proved, the US would find it more difficult to dare attack the DPRK"- the North Korean Foreign Ministry

Football’s Vocal Gaffes

                                                             

Footballers and their managers don’t exactly top the charts in terms of IQ's. Some of them even say things that tempts you to believe the myth that their excessive nodding of the ball may actually dislodge the smart guy upstairs to be stuck up their backsides. So as Ol’ Eric Idle always said: “Look on the bright side of…” well…football this time. My responses are in parenthesis. Grab a chuckle!

   "They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that." – KEVIN KEEGAN

Olumide: (“in Ted Mosby’s voice” Kids, you see why Kevin never became a Champion throughout his managerial career? He just doesn’t believe there is such a thing as First position)

YOU'RE FIRED!

The American Presidency for the most part is a performance for the optics. As much as it is a herculean task and powerful position, it is also an image, one which must be projected right.

Everything the one trusted with the keys to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue does, is more often than not, textbook stuff. From speeches and Interviews to body language, handshakes and smiles, down to necktie and jacket colors (I kid you not), it’s all textbook. Meticulously planned events and leaving nothing to chance. It’s all hands on deck to ensure the founding fathers are not rolling in their graves with their hands covering their faces in shame.

However once in every Northern Hairy-nosed wombat, there’s a little twist in tradition’s plot. There’s that “riddle wrapped in a mystery, inside of an enigma” character who holds office.