The Grand Pissing Contest

[5min Read]

The Old foes threatened and counter-threatened to literally blow each other to smithereens.

It was probably the most nerve-wracking week in International politics and diplomacy in recent times. A week that humbled experts in the formless subject of diplomacy.

It’s a week with far-reaching effects. Consequences no one completely has full grasp of. The details are desperately difficult to cut into shape for an article.

President Donald J. Trump’s announcement after about a week of threats and counter-threats that it seemed, “Iran was standing down” was the first attempt at collective relief. This delicate impression of a ceasefire however began hemorrhaging once it became clear the Iranian military had in fact accidentally downed a Ukrainian passenger aircraft killing all 176 souls on board. The death of all 176 was a disaster of some historical proportions. A tragic and colossal mess. It has since become the parturient for the very loud and intense protests in the powerful Middle Eastern nation.

A Rule of Law or A Rule of Presidential Discretion ?

President Muhammadu Buhari

A protest, or in Pro-Buhari words, a Revolution was planned. Abduction of the Lead Convener, Sowore, by operatives of the DSS  followed suit. An application was filed before the Federal high court sitting in Abuja seeking to detain the defendant for 90 days for the conclusion of investigations was filed.

The High Court of Patriotism

[5min read]

Whenever 4^th of July rolls around, Americans move Lee Greenwood’s “God bless the U.S.A” to the very top of their playlist, swaddle themselves with the old glory and watch with the flame of patriotism consuming their hearts, fireworks take flight to the night skies.

The Unholy Alliance

[5 min read]

Politics, they say, make strange bedfellows.

This is a tale of a steamy affair between the People’s Republic of China and The Russian Federation. An affair that invokes fear in its purest form and suspicion in its darkest form in the bleeding hearts of other East Asian Nations.

The Shi'a Conundrum

[5min Read]

The Shi'a-Police force clashes are not foreign to residents of the Federal Capital Territory

You probably saw on Monday, July 22^nd, the gut-wrenching newsflash announcing yet another bloody clash between members of the Islamic Movement of Nigeria and the Nigerian Police Force.

What made this previously familiar head-on collision particularly different was the delivery of Collateral damage in the deaths of Precious Owolabi, a graduate of performing arts from the University of Ilorin and now member of the Youth Service corps attached to Channels TV and Usman Umar, a Deputy Commissioner of Police.

The Lipstick Revolution (Women and Political Power)

[4 min read]

So, can a woman really rule the Federal Republic of Nigeria? Can a woman make a good President? Will the Nigerian state bow to the authority of one with the XX Chromosomes? Will the marbled floors of the home of Nigerian political power ever experience constant assault from the heels of a woman?

The Independent Heart - TRJ Photoshoot

[3min Read]

So we decided to throw open the door of opportunity and sponsor a mass photoshoot for anyone who wants free professional photographs of themselves, to celebrate the independence day of Nigeria.

There was only one rule. Wear white and green.

Let's take a look at some of the people who turned up for the event, and those we found worthy of your views.

The Presidency's Saraki Problem

[A 5 min read]

Disclaimer I’m absolutely not a fanboy of the subject of this article. Resist any temptation to get it twisted.

Pay attention.

I don’t envy the President and the Presidency. They’ve got a problem. A monstrous one. A problem the size of frilled shark.

THE JUNE 12 THING

[ 3 min read ]

“I tender the nation’s apology to the family of MKO Abiola, Also to those who struggle and stood for June 12.” - President Muhammadu Buhari at the June 12 Investiture of National Honours

One hand up if you believe the Nigerian Presidency deployed the apology for the June 12, 1993 election result annulment as a tourniquet to a haemorrhaging South-West Nigeria support?

Raise a second hand if you’re upset at this seemingly cynical move.

If you have both hands up, take a seat. Like Ygritte announced to Jon Snow on that faithful day, “You know nothing”

The Curious Case of the Nigerian Presidency.

Today, we’re talking a bit of home-based politics.

I can’t promise a truckload of fun or butterflies as you read through, but come on, what happened to being patriotic?

Time to wrap ourselves with the Green and white fabric.

Merry Christmas Zimbabwe

Previously on this column, we examined elephants, grass, nuclear warheads and two guys who are not BFFs. Read up pal! at Bend the Knee

On the 21^st of November 2017, 13:53hours, Christmas came early for Zimbabweans. Good ol’ Saint Nicholas and his 8 Reindeer and pulled sleigh transport decided to make an early stop in the landlocked Southern African nation.

Let our boys be boys, and our girls be girls

Now, I know that in the TRJ we promote originally and personal creativity more than anything, but sometimes there are some articles I see that just need to get out and be shown strongly to the rest of the world. This is one of them. Do take a soda and popcorn and enjoy this thrilling read.

British journalist and television personality, Piers Morgan has attacked the modern trend where transgenders can alter the natural order they were born with.
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I'm a man.

There, I've said it. At the risk of offending the world's increasing army of hypersensitive PC-crazed snowflakes, I am proudly and unapologetically identifying as a male.

I realise that for some people, this admission alone is currently tantamount to having me fired, arrested and possibly publicly executed.

Think I'm being ridiculous?
Think again.

Last night, popular US Teen Vogue writer Emily Lindin tweeted this to her 22,000 followers: 'Here's an unpopular opinion. I'm not actually at all concerned about innocent men losing their jobs over false sexual assault/harassment allegations.'

So yes, for some people like Ms Lindin, just being a man right now is enough to warrant a career and life being wrongly destroyed.

BEND THE KNEE!

Previously on this column: We talked...or well, I wrote and you probably read or stubbornly refused to open that link about Donald Trump's YOU'RE FIRED! anthem. Now open and read - or I cry. 

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“North Korea best not make any more threats to the United States. They will be met with fire and fury, and frankly power, the likes of which this world has never seen before” - President Donald Trump (United States)

"The Trump group's declaration of the reckless nuclear war exercises against the DPRK is a reckless behaviour, driving the situation into the uncontrollable phase of a nuclear war”- North Korean state-run newspaper Rodong Sinmun

"Now that the DPRK's (the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, North Korea's official name) capability to strike the very heart of the US at any given time has been physically proved, the US would find it more difficult to dare attack the DPRK"- the North Korean Foreign Ministry

Football’s Vocal Gaffes

                                                             

Footballers and their managers don’t exactly top the charts in terms of IQ's. Some of them even say things that tempts you to believe the myth that their excessive nodding of the ball may actually dislodge the smart guy upstairs to be stuck up their backsides. So as Ol’ Eric Idle always said: “Look on the bright side of…” well…football this time. My responses are in parenthesis. Grab a chuckle!

   "They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that." – KEVIN KEEGAN

Olumide: (“in Ted Mosby’s voice” Kids, you see why Kevin never became a Champion throughout his managerial career? He just doesn’t believe there is such a thing as First position)

YOU'RE FIRED!

The American Presidency for the most part is a performance for the optics. As much as it is a herculean task and powerful position, it is also an image, one which must be projected right.

Everything the one trusted with the keys to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue does, is more often than not, textbook stuff. From speeches and Interviews to body language, handshakes and smiles, down to necktie and jacket colors (I kid you not), it’s all textbook. Meticulously planned events and leaving nothing to chance. It’s all hands on deck to ensure the founding fathers are not rolling in their graves with their hands covering their faces in shame.

However once in every Northern Hairy-nosed wombat, there’s a little twist in tradition’s plot. There’s that “riddle wrapped in a mystery, inside of an enigma” character who holds office.