25 points clear, already qualified for next year’s
Champions’ League and could be title holders in less than 10 games. There,
official notice, the world is about to be thrown into an apocalyptic state.
Nothing, nothing, I repeat, is expected to be normal thereafter.
 |
| Like a freshly delivered Bride at the Groom's doorstep, Liverpool are about to lay their hands on this beauty. |
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Liverpool are going to win
the league and so we’re screwed.
If by now you still think, there’s a chance Liverpool won’t
win the league then I have an aircraft carrier in King’s landing to sell to you
at a flat rate of a thousand Naira. In the absence of Jesus’ coming or a
Nuclear missile test gone wrong, Liverpool will have their hands on trophy that
has eluded them since the Premier League era began in 1992.
It’s worthy to note that not only are they winning, they’re
in fact having a clean sweep, aided and abetted excellently by the colossal
bottling job other prospective contenders have executed so far this season. The
Premier League has for the most part become a circus show this season. It has
been capitulation on some of the highest standards.
As at the game before the new winter break, Liverpool had
defeated all 19 opponents in the league at least once. A testimony of the
team’s unforgiving ruthlessness in front of goal and stern stinginess in
defence.
 |
| Ruthless attack, stingy defence and a collective ability to grind out wins regardless of the situation. They deserve everything that comes to them. |
If you, dear reader supports any of the other 19 teams
competing this season, you’re entitled to a refund (even if you have no dime in
financial commitment). Whatever is left of the pride and honor of those clubs
have been made into carcass for a wake of vultures to feast delightfully on.
Liverpool winning the league and potentially doing it
unbeaten is simply just as pleasant as an impromptu colonoscopy. I however do
believe Jurgen Klopp and his boys deserve all that is coming their way. This
includes the strange luck that is the awful season Pep Guardiola and his Arab-wealthy
boys are having.
 |
| Murphy's Law: "whatever can go wrong, will go wrong." |
As one who has watched quite a number of Premier League
seasons, I love to believe this season is but a one-off and some actual
competition will return next season. The hope is that other usual title suspects will replace the
premature jellyfish spine they’ve had all season with something remotely
tougher and go in gung-ho next season. Otherwise, we might as well have the
league banned.
For now though, there really is a paucity of analysis to be
made. The only real challenge for the Reds now will be to repeat the unique
unbeaten run that made the 2003/2004 Arsenal team invincibles, in which case,
fans of other clubs better relocate to an alternate universe.
 |
| Because winning the league is too mainstream, the Kops have set their sights on making The Arsenal Invincibles look ordinary. A tall and tough order. |
Already there’s an agenda fuelled by Liverpool fans to
promote Jordan Henderson as PFA POTY. A suggestion only reasonable after a
dozen bottles of some wicked polish vodka or precisely what happens when the
Reds are having the time of their life.
 |
| Already there's a campaign for Jordan Henderson as the Player of the Year. See why no one wants them to win the League? |
Jurgen Klopp, his army of Reds and Kops worldwide have my
most profoundly dishonest congratulations.
Boys and Girls, strap-in, “anything can happen 2020” is in
full throttle. David Luiz may as well get a haircut, imagine Jurgen Klopp’s
teeth turned white or Unai Emery found out that the phrase is in fact “Good
evening” and not “Good ebening” or what if Zinedine Zidane grew an afro.
With the imminent Liverpool league win opening the end of
the world portals that not even Liu Kang nor Lord Rayden can shut, nothing is
allowed to catch you by surprise.
You’ve been warned. Thus ends my lamentation.
P.S :REMEMBERING
KOBE
When
he shall die
Take
him and cut him out in little stars,
And
he will make the face of heaven so fine,
That
all the world will be in love with night
And
pay no worship to the garish sun.
-
William Shakespeare.
If you’re having a drink as you read this, kindly take a shot
and toast to the sweet memories of all nine victims of the ill-fated Sikorsky
S-76 helicopter crash on January 26.
You all belong with the ages now.
RIP.
-------------------------
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