The Surprise Test!

[3min Read]

Surprise Surprise

First off, I'd want to thank TRJ for deeming my true(life) story fit to be shared on the platform, I'm tremendously honored. 

PS; I'm a huge fan, y'all are wonderful wordsmiths and I would want to write marvelously like y'all when I grow up... keep it up

You see, l love surprises.

It's like fresh air in this foul foul world. I breathe it in deep.

Yesterday, I and some other roommates (names withheld) went to support one of our own on the soccer field.

We're ballin in. Make way.

It was a match between the department of Biology (female team) vs Sociology department (also female team) of the University of Abuja.

That's right. Na we we.

Some called it a friendly match, but there was nothing "friendly" about the match to me.

It was WAR

Plus the field was wet from the rain earlier that day 

So the Victor Moses phenomenon was happening all over the place.

I supported team Biology, which in my opinion, was the wining team - and so we did what supporters do best.

We supported.

We cheered so bad to the point of embarrassing the players instead of motivating them.

♫ Go Bi-ology! It's your buffday ♫ 

The match ended with a draw, and we concluded the match with arguments left and right.

What do you mean it was a foul? You are the fowl!

We arrived at the hostel very late, and I joyfully jumped on my bed, planning to sleep even more than the people who played football.

This beauty sleep will not sleep itself, you know?

Suddenly it was 3am, and my alarm rung like a maniac. So I woke up like the dedicated student I am, and started preparing for lectures. My education can't be played with, you know.

First class, you know we are destined to be together.

Suddenly everything was hazy, and I opened my eyes. It was a dream!! I had never woken up by 3am. 

But I'm a serious student!!

I checked the time, and it was a beautiful 9am.

Look at all this fresh sunlight disturbing my sleep. Just amazing.

But the text I saw on our group chat was not so beautiful. The course rep just announced "GST test confirmed for 2pm"

Are course reps not meant to help you and not stress you?

Is that anyway to start a morning? They didn't see the whole of yesterday to confirm it?

You didn't interrupt my five hours of cheerleading? You interrupted my sleep?

It must be the village people that organized this.

They will never use their powers to stop corrupt people from being elected. Just look at.

Where would I even start reading that dictionary-sized text book titled "Peace and Conflict Resolution in Democratic Society"?

That book was designed for other generations. Not mine. It can;t be nau.

See. Sweat, tension, heart attack, high blood pressure, head ache, stomach ache - in fact any other ache you can think of started happening to me all at once.

Am I a new medical discovery? What is this?

I sluggishly still went for lectures, half-expecting BP and anxiety to kill me if the test didn't.

Somebody save me. Save me fast.

As if the day wasn't bad enough, the lecturer was reading material to us in class, like an old boring newspaper that was rejected due to a lack of sense.

If I had decided to be absent now, that's the day they would choose to take the attendance that has marks. Look at.

He didn't understand that he was not helping matters.

Better teach very well with your big salary.

We moved to the lab for practicals, but I wasn't even there. All I could see was the front page and back page of that 500 page textbook. Is this how madness begins?

No No No.

The prayers I prayed that period was enough to move several mountains. Decades of rosaries and more.

In the name!

And then the news came. 1pm it hit like a bomb. Bombastic news la la.

whoooooosh

The test was cancelled!!

Whoop Whoop!!

You need to see how people were rejoicing in that lab.

I can;t describe it here.

Well, it just goes to show that I have a miracle working God. 

Somebody better praise!

I won't tell you to argue with your ancestors. He is bigger than your arguments.

Yes.

Submitted by Vera Uche
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