Tuesday, June 7, 2016

The Jamb Experience

With rumours of plans by the Federal Government to scrap the post-utme exams. I decided before they magically wake up someday and decide to remove JAMB, It would be good that I let the future know what we.... "enjoyed" in JAMB



It begins by you hearing that your seniors usually get like 230, 250 etc out of 400..... You laughed in french
Dullards..



  Afterall.... Anything below 80% was never meant for your destiny
Tell yourself the truth joor


 So you devoured all the past questions as much as you can..... for a while anyways



Your zeal lasts for some time but.. well, you know book fatigue na



The J-day comes and you are sure you're prepared.
.....*Ahem Ahem*



As usual, Papa Ijapa and company come around with Machineries
This is a sure something.... buy it!!



They will offer you "very cheap deals"
Just 50k



The questions are like enemies of progress ....but you survive them somehow...
Oya... move the 3... carry the 1....



After answering every question you can, you....
No wait, I borrowed that one



 You get home and start calculating your score....
320?  Yess.... Government scholarship.... Here I come!!



Siblings and relatives call to ask of the exam and you tell them to expect your name in newspapers very, very soon
Better start telling people you know me oo


But of course you had to pray like mad oo. Can't take risks for this kind thing
Hail Mary...


The result came out....and it's like they've made a mistake somewhere
wait wait wait



This does not look like the result you calculated at all
Was it -5 negative marking?



 So you jejely take your result to school but form like you hadn't heard of that thing called Jamb
This shame must be hidden.


At school you see others' results and find out that Jamb and low scores are like this...
5 & 6




Then of course.... that "Gehn Gehn" moment comes. You father asks for your result.
Lemme decide your fate...


He first doesn't say anything for a while, he just looks at you like.
.....out of 400?


 Upon hearing the others' scores, most of the disappointment leaves him....
well... mostly....



 So he asks you why you got such an 'interesting' score
Daddy, I don't know oo... I even read 14 hours a day



 So you apply to the best known public schools... but they will shaded you with such a serious shade
Is it because I did not get 300?




Then a friend comes with good news... theres' a school out there that will manage you!!
Opportunity!!!.. I must go oo!!


So .....well....at least you have entered uni.
shake it!

Then your juniors ask you what you got in JAMB
Lemme see what this senior has in his head

Thus the cycle continues when they give you this same look
Dullards..




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9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lmao!! Wow..... jamb shaa.
Nice writeup bro

Anonymous said...

Lmao! ����jamb why?

Anonymous said...

Roflmao

Anonymous said...

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Anonymous said...

Looool. I can relate do bad
😂😂😂


This happened especially if you wrote paper based. CBT scores were higher because they were properly marked. Chai.... if I had known oo

#Former_Jambite

Unknown said...

Lmao.so true- U.

Anonymous said...

Lol real shxt bro...

Anonymous said...

This is unfortunately very true

Chioma said...

🤣🤣🤣