The Gift of Goodbye

By Ebi Ashidi

Saying goodbye might be painful - and in most cases it is, but it can also be the best Gift you give to yourself.

Being in a relationship that isn’t fruitful, and only painful, or in a relationship that brings more pain than joy, such relationships have to be let go.

STEP 1: EVALUATE

Before you can say goodbye, you need to be able to tell what relationships deserve your gift. We all have relationships. I mean, we were created for relationships.

Victim

Last week Wednesday, my phone was stolen at a local bus stop in Lagos. It was not a fun experience. I'm not going to regale you with the exact details in this post, because this post today isn't about the theft itself, but rather it's effect on my psyche, and the attitude of people around me who heard about it.

Don't We All?

I was parked in front of the mall wiping off my car. I had just come from the car wash and was waiting for my wife to get out of work. Coming my way from across the parking lot was what society would consider a bum. From the looks of him, he had no car, no home, no clean clothes, and no money. There are times when you feel generous but there are other times that you just don't want to be bothered. This was one of those "don't want to be bothered times."

"I hope he doesn't ask me for any money," I thought.

Best Friend For Sale

Well.

I really don't think I should be writing this article.

You'll know why if you keep on reading.

Most people have this one, special, always-there, super-understanding friend. If I was in a satire type of mood, my next sentence would say "These people are afflicted with the Best Friend Syndrome - ". But I'm trying to be nice today, so I'll throw sugar and blue icing on everything here. I do hope you don't have mental diabetes though. (I'm talking to you goth-lover)

I've had several "Best Friends" throughout my 23-yearcareer in humanity. I can happily sum up my experiences with this sentence.

"Don't Do It."

The Case - Chapter Five

Chapter Five:

"I want the three of you to get your knees to the ground, right here in the middle", the thug said.

"That's a little too specific don't you think?", Chris said.

One of them slapped him across the face, and he fell down.

"Argh!... Now I know how Jake feels!"

"Citizens of Washington, you're about to witness what we do to cops that kill one of our own", said one of the thugs.

The empty egg

Jeremy Forrester was born with a twisted body and a slow mind. At the age of 12 he was still in second grade, seemingly unable to learn. His teacher, Doris Miller, often became exasperated with him. He would squirm in his seat, drool, and make grunting noises. At other times, he spoke clearly and distinctly, as if a spot of light had penetrated the darkness of his brain. Most of the time, however, Jeremy just irritated his teacher.

The Maggot and the Butterfly

Do you want secret tips on how to keep a good friendship forever...?

Well... we don't really have those. However, we will tell you how to try to avoid throwing away the ones that might end up being really good ones.

The Case - Chapter Four

Chapter Four:

Chris couldn't believe it.

Peter was dead. His only brother was dead. The burial was quick... a few friends and well-wishers came. Some officers also came to pay their respects.

Chris sat with his parents, who were too shocked to say anything. He watched as his mother wept, and tried to avoid his father's eyes. No one said a word, and just the priest's voice was heard.

The Square Watermelon

Japanese grocery stores had a problem. They are much smaller than shops in the USA and therefore don’t have room to waste. Watermelons, big and round, wasted a lot of space. Most people would simply tell the grocery stores that watermelons grow round and there is nothing that can be done about it.

That is how majority of people would respond. But some Japanese farmers took a different approach. If the supermarkets wanted a square watermelon, they asked themselves, ‘How can we provide one?’ It wasn’t long before they invented the square watermelon.

The solution to the problem of round watermelons was not to solve as the farmers did not assume it was impossible  – and simply asked how it could be done.

They found out that if you put the watermelon in a square box when they are growing, the watermelon will take on the shape of the box – and grow into a square fruit.

The Case - Chapter Three

Chapter Three:

Chris shut the door almost as quickly as he opened it. They both heard the front door burst open, and they were in the kitchen. Bullets flew everywhere, ricocheting all over the place.

"Uhm ... open the drawers", Chris stammered, while crouching.

"We're in a freaking kitchen, be damn specific!", Jake yelled.

"The one near the dish washer, I keep two tranq guns there".

"Why the hell do you keep guns where you cook", Jake said, while handing him one.

"Just shut up and let's go"

Time understands Love

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love.

Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.

When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.