When You Catch Feelings

I think I am in love, I am sad, I am hungry, I feel heartbroken, I feel nervous, I feel hopeful and optimistic that all will turn out welI. I feel like sleeping, l feel like that class wouldn't hold, I feel like eating bread and beans, I feel like hitting her across the face...

We feel feelings all the time, towards people, events, places e.t.c. – and now, I am also feeling feelings towards this ‘subject’ of feelings.Feelings don't fly in the air, as you know - they are usually felt. In psychology, the word 'feeling' is usually reserved for the conscious subjective experience of emotion. All feelings are borne out of emotions, time spent with someone or something. But as usual, I am not here to discuss psychology, neither am I here to discuss the temperaments.

I am going to delve into a topic that I like to stay away from as often as I can (you are probably wondering why I am writing about it then - so please wait sweetly till the end to find out). I am going to try and be real with feelings as regards to relationships. Yes, relationships - romantically inclined relationships.

It is a very beautiful thing to be able to relate with someone on every level. I am going to assume that everyone reading this article is an adult, (if not, please exit this page) so the concept of ‘relationships’ is not lost on any of us. But… is every relationship worth it? Are we actually supposed to give in to every feeling towards the opposite sex? Do you really 'love' them? Are you still feeling that 'feeling'?

Someone very wise told me that, communication fosters relationships - and I agree. I start to talk with him either over the phone or on whatsapp, from 'heys' and 'his' we start asking intimate questions, I get lost in his world, and fascinated by his personality and wham! I think I like him, oh no! I think I am in love; and this is like a month into the “getting to know you” stuff. I know he is a not really the butter to my bread, we don't really have the same goals, and I really don't have any reasonable reason to be 'in love' with him, but it doesn't matter. We have communication chemistry. Suddenly, he is the only person I chat with, the only person I call. Until, the incompatibilities slap me back to reality, and I realize that it would have been better if I didn't follow my feelings. But you would say that, “you can't help it”, right? The heart wants what it wants. Yes, well... The heart doesn't want anything other than to supply blood to every part of the body.

I am a girl with emotions. I crush like the average girl, and sometimes catch feelings, but I have learnt that you don't act on every feeling you feel. I have often heard people say 'feel with your head, and not your heart'. Be reasonable! I often wonder if most celebrity marriages would last if they felt with their head rather than their hearts. When you catch those feelings, your heart rate rises, dopamine is released, and you feel sooooo good; but somewhere in your head, that little voice is telling you that it wouldn't end well, you would probably get hurt. Most of the time we don't listen, weighing the options to the feelings, you wouldn't consider being rational and realistic. But feelings fly out of the window as fast as you've caught them, when things go awry. That feeling of love suddenly becomes self loathing, you would probably dislike the person and cause friction between the both of you.

Again, you don't act on every feeling you get, not until you are sure that it's the right feeling for you. 

Learn to draw the line, when you realize that it is not the best feeling for you, because trust me - feelings are tempting. If you talk for hours, talk for minutes; if you talk about mushy mushy stuffs that excite you and make you stay awake all night, stop! It's hard shey? But it is easier than when things go south. Oh, for the girls stay away from 'Love movies' please, it just makes things harder. Find something else to do, be productive, read, write, run, play ball. And if you might be wondering that 'what if it would work out?'; then pray about it, ask for advice, be reasonable.

Don't let it get to the point where you can't stand to have the person around you, because it is easier to be cool with someone than to dislike or even hate the person afterwards. This was written based on popular demand from people who feel that I am a good relationship advice giver. I won't say I am though.

Catch feelings sensibly!

 By Mary Idowu

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