Change and Stereotype

It doesn't always seem so obvious does it? When someone suddenly changes who they, how they act, dress and talk? Imagine that "innocent" boy you knew down the road, popped into university for a while, and came home a master weed smoker. Or that cute girl you used to be friends with, who now puts on excessive makeup and goes to parties almost every night with her new friends because she was told that she isn't "pretty and fun enough" (This can be a controversial example).

It’s one thing to want to change for the better or try something new. It’s something else entirely to want to change for the worse or try something you know will never work for your best. I know how many times I've been made fun of, underestimated or challenged because of the way I present myself and act. I can’t really say I know the entire reason why so many people find a lot faults in the things and ways I have. If however I were asked I would say it all has to do with the issue and problem of the “stereotype”

• ·         Boys are all players
• ·         All girls like barbies
• ·         Teenagers have all had sex before they all hit 20
• ·         Igbo people love money too much
• ·        All Nigerians are scammers.

There are countless stereotypes, both popular and unpopular that we've all heard, and that we ousrselves sometimes use. We may not know or understand where or how theses stereotypes came from or why they remain, but as far as they tickle our fancies, we continue to use them day to day and we don’t ever plan to stop. Human nature is a curious thing - I would say. Everybody believes there’s a particular way that everyone should act if they are in a particular position, place or age. Sometimes these viewpoints tend to be more harmful than good. There is a vague, however, largely, understandable difference between PROPRIETY and STEREOTYPE that many people do not seem to understand, or rather, misunderstand to the point of very grievous fault.I believe it's really quite simple though.

Propriety – Is the right thing to do, at the right place, and in the right way

Stereotype would simply refer to the way people BELIEVE things should be done, even to a negative result/manner.

The problem with stereotypicality is not in its existence, but rather, in my opinion, its conceptual ability to instigate conformity. A normal teen who may not be intrinsically interested in having sex any time soon may follow suit with the actions of his/her peers in order to feel like they “belong”. A normal girl having a healthy interest in cars, or comics or otherwise normally “boyish” seeming items and behaviour may have to hide her interests and pretend to be interested rather in wide-smiling plastic dolls and other accessories associated with them. It holds people back, it chains them, it prevents progress and the furtherance of that - or any other - progress, hindering development and cross-understanding between various people. Nothing ever said conventionality is the ONLY way to succeed, and in fact we have tons of proof from history and otherwise to prove otherwise. However, there is a time and place in which all this change can go very very wrong.

The issue still stands with the problem of stereotypicality. People change TOWARDS stereotypes instead of changing AWAY from them. This might not ordinarily be a bad thing if not for the fact that most stereotypes are by nature, negative. This problem is ever further enhanced by the concept and ideal of the “badass” attribute our world gives to the negative stereotypes which we normally use and see.

• Smokers are daring
• Guns are cool
• Miniskirts make you look hot
• Violence makes you respected if you use enough to make everyone afraid

There are numerous stereotypes used and known, all over the world, that have almost cult-like followings. These influence the perceptions of various people, especially the very VERY* impressionable youth – ever seeking for role models to emulate. It’s something that we need to look at and work on. I have a friend I met a few weeks ago. She’s absolutely amazing. Smart, beautiful dedicated, free minded, serious when she needs to be and more. However, irregardless of all these things, it seems she is yet unsatisfied with herself….a common precursory problem that usually results in the internal feeling to change, and as you may guess – change according to given stereotypes. The problem I have however isn't her wanting to change rather, but rather a few of the things that she wants to begin trying. 

Recently she confided in me that one day she would be interesting in taking a small trial of the common drugs that people usually take such as weed, marijuana etc. Not for long-term interests however, but rather for trial only – Just to know what it’s like. It was a rather saddening development in my opinion, and I can’t say I understand why she would ever like to try it. I’m not really sure at all that I’m even interested in knowing because it might make me judgmental. I've given her advice on it and asked her to strictly refrain from doing such at all accounts, but I can’t be sure that my words have reached her, however i have a lot of faith that it shall. In this day and age, she’s just like most all the other teenagers who enter universities newly – people who feel like they've been changed from parental influences and given free reign over their actions. They want to try new things they've never tried before. Most teenagers have already had the determination/conviction to change once they enter the uni and be new and “free” – even if their idea and/or definition of freedom is a bit deluded in my opinion. All we can do now is pray and hope for the best, and do what we can to advise our family, friends and acquaintances to be WHO THEY ARE, and not WHO THEY THINK THEY ARE.

“For in her heart, felt I then after, more than words could ever arrange

And saw I the saddest - of anything ever, perfection …wanting to change”

In case it wasn't obvious,.... that was a (very short, i know )poem, also if you've got any comments, suggestions or questions please  drop-toss them into the comment box by clicking "comment". Thanks :D

Thanks for coming here :)
Love, Stars and Jam