Karma's A B****

By The Timi Raji

I speak as someone with some experience on naming dogs. I mean, If I had a female dog, I'd name her Karma.

Female dog= Bitch.
Hence, Karma is a bitch.  ​​(can you feel my halo?  )

People, not everything is a sexual innuendo! (If you own a Bible, read Titus 1:15 now)

Now to a totally unrelated topic 
"Karma's, one day's gonna haunt you and I wanna see it bite ya' right on your behind. Cuz K-A-R-M-A's a female dog"

That's a verse from the not so popular but REAL country song by Bomshel- Karma's a female dog. I lie not. Now, like we were taught in secondary school, there has to be a definition first... I mean, assuming that this is an essay.


So, first and foremost, Karma is.... I look like a dictionary to you?!!



Below are typical examples of Karma being a... Female dog 

1. 

She (Karma) walks in the shadows. 

2.

Well, I'm not saying some of those Okada riders don't deserved to be knocked down. But it's common sense. When you knock someone off, leave no evidence! (Just kidding ... Not really )


3. 

Oh I would let the Mr. Winnie the Pooh go right about now if I were you.. But I'm not you, so good luck  

4.

I don't get this one. But a lot of people find it funny. I've got no clue

5.

Well... The bible says flee fornication 

6.

Hahaha. If you ever had a childhood, you should get this one.

7.

In your face penguin! (Haha. I know it's not a penguin, birdbrain. It's obviously a falcon)

....................................................................

In the above examples, Karma did her job. (i.e. by being a nasty female dog). BUT, for some other people, it might appear that Karma was more like a bottle feeding, wussy, 'scooby-doo' puppy, so scared to do her job.

Why is it that some people who do "bad stuff" usually get away with it scot-free? And sometimes even get rewarded for doing these "bad stuff"?  

I'll give classical examples:
1. You're driving on the road and there's serious traffic. You've been there for hours on your lane. Then, someone comes from behind you, and overtakes you, on the wrong lane, and is out of the hold-up in no time. Meanwhile, you're still there honking your horn like no man's business.


2. You studied hard for a test. Behind you is a group of guys who cheated the entire period you took the test. When the results are released, they get the highest grades on the test.

3. You're on a queue to buy meal tickets in the school cafeteria. You've been there a while, then someone comes from no where and jumps the virtual queue and buys tickets.. scratch that.. Make it ten people. Ten people meet you there and buy tickets before you!!

4. In the bible, Jacob did some really shady stuff and got away with it. Heck! He became the progenitor of the great Israel. Meanwhile Esau (the slyee), who was slyed by Jacob (the sly), has ever since been defamed. 
RIP Esau! I mean, the guy is already dead, and till this day, many pastors paint him like he was the bad guy in the story.



5. Every movie or story about professional bank robbers, illusionists, serial killers and assassins (e.g Now you see me, Jack the ripper etc.) The bad guy always wins in the end.



6. It's Saturday, you wake up early in the morning to wash your clothes. When you're done, you spread them on the ropes. In the evening, 30 minutes after you saw Michael spreading his just washed clothes, you go to bring your clothes in. 
Funny story, your clothes are not dry yet. But Michael's clothes are already dry  
(I know right, Darn it Sun!)
....................................................................

Okay the last example was a little bit off. Don't go around blaming the sun for your misfortune. Ain't nobody got time for that!

Well I don't know why that happens, But...

If you're the bad guy i.e. the one claiming to always cheat Karma... Lemme let you in on something... It may seem like you've dodged a bullet and escaped retribution. But you can never be so sure.

I mean, There's always a part 2 to every "Now you see me".. And trust me, it's going to be in theatres soon. People will buy movie tickets, watch, eat popcorn and revel in the fact that "whatever a man sows, he shall reap".



If you didn't catch that metaphor. Catch this. There's a major finish line and crossing a few laps first (because you cheated) doesn't mean you've won the  race. So don't rejoice yet. Take a hint from Dastardly and Muttley. (Don't blame me if you didn't catch this metaphor either.. Go get a childhood. Get born again or something  )

Justice is a funny thing. It can take months, years, or a lifetime before proper punishment is doled out by the cosmos. Other times, it can take a mere second before the universe provides the reaction for one's action (Get it? Newton's third law of motion)


To those of you who feel annoyed cos you work so hard, you play by the rules and yet people who do the opposite get better rewards. Don't be. Stop comparing yourselves to them. 

You've got to believe that your success is not tied to someone else's.

Thank you. Hopefully, this wouldn't be my last post here.




Please share in the comments section below, the experiences you've had, where Karma was a 'female dog' to you. 
Also drop in a name of a person you think Karma forgot to deal with here.. For the fun of it. I'll start first

Me: Dear Karma. I have a friend named Dami Je*******u. Please deal with him brutally. Love Timi