The Congenital Remnants of "Seize The Bae"

2015 started with a flash bang. It seemed almost everyone had gotten tired of being the "singularity" in the paired, rib-by-rib, universe that is our world.

"Seize the bae!!"

It was the echo of frustrations which yearned for release. No more, would one walk on the roads seeing a muliplex of oscultating lips at every corner and dark walkways. One must be auscultating too!

No more, would one get jealous when a roommate gets a phone call and keeps on it for hours on end. One must annoy a roommate with mushy love talk as well!

No more, would one pine seeing couples left, right and center holding hands that seemed like they were made for each other. One must latch on to the nearest hand too. If the hand wasn't free, you would free it by force!

Seize the bae!

.... Please.

Let’s face it - as many people that had announced "seize the bae" are about just as many who have yet to seize the boo talk of bae. Una no try joor. But good news.... there is still time. 8 days!! Go!! Rush!

But seriously.....some of you though - You have not seized the education, or seized the job/ego($$$) and you're rushing to seize bae. Most of these boos and baes don't even last. They really don't *make* them how they used to #deep_sigh. We've been told everyone has someone made for them, like Eve for Adam, with a rib. But these days, it seems everyone is into trial and error - as my one-time lecturer said in a GST class - "You'll be chasing after ribs that aren't your own".

Instead of going after all these china products, why just wait for the original na. Don't go jump into every "boo" that comes hollering at you. Unfortunately, at times, some of these boos are just monkeys and  shrieking apes. (Not all of them oo.)

Don't get me wrong. I'm all up for a meaningful relationship - as long as you're prepared and ready. And though I don't really believe that there is a particular age for dating, I believe its pretty agreeable that at 12 years, you really shouldn't be dating anyone.

What would you be doing?

- Talking about the latest Tom and Jerry episode?

- Reviewing your dinner plans or break-time plans?

- Making sure you don't cheat on your partner?

For such a stage in life there are several reasons why you shouldn't be in a relationship. Others at the age of 28 or so are fixing their problems in life, so as not to burden their partner when they start a relationship. You have not yet figured out what your problems WILL BE, and you want to jump into the lagoon. I hope you do not drown in sorrow. There are broken hearts and scattered dreams at the bottom of the depths oo. May it not be your portion - Anyways, anybody reading this blog is awesome anyway.

I know this article sounds harsh. But let's face it. Every other website or blog out there is ready to encourage you to indulge in any fancy that comes your way. It will increase views for them, "If the world is turning bad, why don't we accelerate the process, join the bandwagon and make the cash :P?"

As I said, I’m not against dating. I’m just saying - abeg, at least date with a purpose, or at least if you know it's going to be short term - let it be abundantly clear to the both of you. I mean if someone tells me, "Okay, I want to date you but only for like 3 months" - Nna, Joy would be in my heart na. It allows me variety ;)

Seize the bae was all about encouraging people to take up their heartthrob dream-people by force. Whether they were taken already or not did not matter to you. "Survival of the fittest". If you had to kill the girlfriend or boyfriend, then so be it (Metaphorically speaking....). Not to go out of character, but The Bible says "Those who live by the sword shall die by the sword". Is it not a matter of time before someone will come and seize your stolen bae? Ah, I just can't wait to see the headlines and stories about it though. "Former girlfriend snatches back lover on his wedding day" - Nairaland here I come...

Anyway, without further ado, here are a few remnants of the "Seize The Bae" programme. Enjoy and share....

Because you have to be bold and assertive.

Friend ko, Friend ni...

But.. it's not by force na...

Because some things are necessary for true love, apparently...

These are apparently the rules of engagement. Aren't you amazed?

As in ehn.... I just can’t wait to see what people will decide to seize in 2016.

● As for me? ---> Seize the Blog!

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