Lessons we learnt from the Presidential debate

[5min Read]

The Presidential debate held on the evening of 19^th of January, 2019 or well, something like it held.

You probably watched and enjoyed a group of intellectuals brainstorm. Another group probably was too upset about the absence of the big guns. Yet another arrived at a factual destination that this columnist arrived at a long time ago, the fact that we’re practically toast as a nation.

Others didn’t even bother. Now whether you were a glass half-full or glass-half empty sort of person is of no real worry to this columnist.

Time for some objectivity though.

L-R; Professor Kingsley Moghalu, Mr Fela Durotoye and Mrs Oby Ezekwesili. The only participants at the Presidential debate.

May we at least agree that a Presidential debate in practical terms didn’t hold? I mean if the two individuals who are most likely to win were absent then folks, what you saw on TV was just an ultra-modern version of a newspaper stand debate in the wee hours of a Sunday morning in Mushin.

Smart guys just being cute with ideas and stuff. You should have listened to them honestly. They sounded really great, sometimes naive and most of the time out of touch with the Nigerian political reality (sorry if the motivational speaker guy was your guy).

In politics, there’s the guy (candidate), his ideas and the monstrous third force, the system! The political machinery. The unseen vehicle in which the government is seated, coordinated and driven in (Governor Ambode now understands this dynamics albeit painfully better than most).

So the $64,000 question therefore is, why on earth did those two old "so and so" not show up? Why did the heavy-hitters shun the debate? We can either answer this emotionally (morally) or well, politically (strategically). One of the best political chess games was played on that night.

So why did the big boys not show up? 

Politics rests on a thin foundation that might be morally bankrupt but strategically genius. Politics is not black and/or white. Politics is not theory and as the old saying goes, “the more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other”.

Let’s start with the President. Well, that’s pretty easy and straightforward. Having known the full extent of the President’s weakness both physically and in oratory, his handlers decided to probably test-run his abilities by accepting to have him appear on the televised program “The Candidates” with the Vice President.

If you saw that program, you’d agree it was a disaster of some historical proportions. The Septuagenarian’s deficiencies were laid bare. The disaster would have been complete but for the presence of Professor Yemi Osinbajo.

Not all heroes wear capes: The President's hero on the night surely was the man in black. No way the President's handlers were going to match him out to the hostile oratory war front that is a debate.

 That was a simulation. No way after that was the President going to be allowed to attend a more hostile situation- an actual debate. I mean, for the love of God that was going to be an oratorical war theatre. He’d have been KIA (Killed-in-Action) before the debate got halfway.

And by the way, to be honest, most Nigerians who wanted to see the President at the debate wanted him there for comic relief. Most Nigerians were more interested in the gaffes than points he was going to make. I'd bet you the reader wanted a laugh also out of the old man.

The other candidates (including Former Vice President Abubakar Atiku) also came prepared to feast on the President’s weakness.

So about we cut the charade of morality and false sense of anger at his absence. He was going to be the butt of the joke. We knew it and unfortunately for us, his minders knew it and prevented it. Too bad, our loss.

Now of course I feel not an ounce of pity for the man.

In getting the President far away from the crosshairs, the President’s men simultaneously found a replacement. Step forward, Abubakar Atiku.

I must state very clearly that I believe very strongly that the Wazirin Adamawa knew the President was going to be absent, heck, even an armchair political columnist like myself knew that and I didn’t get an Olympic medal.

A little bird tells me this appearance at the debate hall was a political stunt and nothing more.

The idea was simple. The other three debaters- the ones who showed up were by design not going to be on the defence. They had never been up there in the helms of affairs so they were going to be attacking, blaming and trashing every policy while those who had been there before defended their actions. Something close to a trial. A Luftwaffe-esque merciless, relentless rain of judgement on the old guard.

In the President’s absence, these new ‘kids’ on the political block (for the life of me I'll never understand why Former Education Minister Oby Ezekwesili thought herself as new) were going to go after anything old, namely Atiku.

The anti-establishment candidates "United in purpose"; This columnist can only guess that the said purpose was to feast relentlessly on the old guard all night long

With Atiku standing there (as the representative of the old guard and the establishment), Fela Durotoye and Kinglsey Moghalu were going to tear him a new one by questioning his 8 years as Vice President while he got no chance to explain his new vision. An old fashioned Turkey Shoot. The President’s men were salivating at that prospect.

Let’s for a moment speculate, shall we? Atiku travels down from the US (knowing fully well the President would be absent), heads to the debate hall and gets wired with mic, even gets photographed and all of a sudden makes a U-turn because President was not around. What if the idea was just to make appearance? “Look guys, I showed up and the other Bro didn’t. I’m the good guy and he isn’t.”

Atiku getting wired with a mic. M y bet is he knew all along the President wasn't going to show up. Even you the reader suspected that.

That way, he escapes being the cadaver for the scalpel-happy new age and anti-establishment politicians to dissect ruthlessly while still securing some goodwill with Nigerians (didn’t completely go according to plan though as some Nigerians called for his head).

This is all theoretical but it looks more like how things played out.

Debates don’t necessarily change people’s choices. Not in a country like Nigeria at least but boy can a horrible performance spark a conversation about one’s candidacy. The type you don’t want this close to the elections.

Does this justify their absences? Absolutely not. Not for a second but best believe it explains it. In our collective despair though the immortal sentiments of Napoleon Bonaparte consoles us all; “In politics, absurdity is not a handicap”

“In politics, absurdity is not a handicap”. The very crown jewel of the lessons we learnt from this debate.

It’s election year, the silly season. Expect the weird.

Like Alice in the Wonderland, it gets curiouser and curiouser. 

Cheers!

-------------------------

Did you like this article? You'll definitely like others like...

1. Tragedy in Lagos

2. Get Out (2017) - Movie Review

3. Abuad Cultural Day