Teach Our Boys to be BOYS

[4 min read]

It is a common saying on most, if not all social media platforms that "Men are scum." Well, personally, I know quite a number of men who are not scum. For various reasons men have become scum to women or rather the entire female populace. I do not disagree with the men are scum theme song actually; personal experiences and very true life stories have made me believe at several intervals that men are indeed the scummiest of the scum. But the problem is that everyone can be a scum at any given time, but that is a story for another time.

By default, or design, the male gender always has the upper hand in any race, while the women have been treated as second-grade humans. Women have had to dress in a certain way, behave in the ‘right manner’, talk in the ‘right manner’, one which shows that she can be wife material of uncountable yards, so that the ‘right man’ can find her and, if she is lucky, marry her. In many relationships and marriage, the woman or lady is supposed to count herself lucky if her partner stays faithful to her, she is supposed to count herself lucky if he provides for the family, if he comes home to his family, if he does not take ‘long business trips’, if he does not make babies out of wedlock. I often see mothers and other womenfolk who tell women to be glad that the said husband or partner has not brought the other woman and her children home in the cases of infidelity.

We call our women strong because they have endured a lot in the marriage, because they have stayed faithful to the unfaithful man; we call them strong because they have learnt to build a tough skin against abuse – emotional and physical. We see their strength in their children and how well they turned out to be. In my culture, the successful child is the father’s and the failure is the mother’s (see why we can call men scum?)

Speaking of some male children in a mixed family, the girls have to learn how to sweep, wash plates and clothes. She is supposed to be able to cook very well and not be bitter when her elder and or younger brothers behave inappropriately and get away with it. Mothers would tell you: he is a man, you cannot expect him to do such, you are the girl, you should not be shouting and raising your voice at your brother; this kind of behavior would not be accepted in your husband’s house.

Many women have lived with the mentality of male superiority and frankly, we are sometimes the authors of our own problems. We train our young boys to believe that they are entitled to some things because they have a penis, and most of them grow up with this mentality. They see the way their fathers treat their mothers, and they see the way their mothers sit back and take whatever accolades their fathers desire to dish out to them. They see the way their mothers scold their sisters in relation to men-matters. They see their mothers and sisters bending over backwards just to please them and they believe that all women around the world should do the same.

So they said

Do you see mothers that you have built scums? Fathers, can you see your reflection in your son? Hey Sister, can you see that boy you babied treating ladies wrongly?

If culture is what we are blaming for the issues, and we choose to allow our boys grow up to be scummish, then sit back and enjoy the scum. Parents, nip it in the bud, catch them young! Teach our boys to be BOYS, teach them to respect women, teach them to respect their female siblings, teach them to respect women of any age and color. Teach them to recognize and respect a woman’s gender equity. Give both your male and female children equal opportunities and punishments. Teach your daughters to be independent and your sons to be respectful of the opposite sex. Build up gentlemen and ladies. Be exemplary examples of the kind of change you want to see outside; charity they say begins at home and for the present youthful generation, start adding that to your future parenting ideas.

If you must go to religious affairs, do not drag only your daughters, drag your sons as well, the Church is not built for only girls. Nowadays, there are a lot of women conferences, teaching women how to be good mothers and wives; let’s organize male conferences as well, let’s teach our boys how to be good fathers and husbands.

Together, let us all build our utopian society from our homes and our children.

Oh and the inspiration to write this came from a session of Girls’ Night Out.

-------------------------
Did you like this article? You'll definitely like others like...
1. Gender Inclusion: An oversight of some Feminists
2. Skin Deep Beauty

3.Spotlight 8 - Amazon Sole Mates