I'm sitting with my friends, at least that's how I feel sometimes. Everyone seemed to be laughing at something they saw or what someone said, and I was also laughing, but I was laughing so my insecurities wouldn't show; I was laughing so I wouldn't have to explain why I was lost.
I don't know if I'm not grateful or if I'm just scared, but it is hard to believe that anyone of them actually saw me as a friend. It was as if: no matter what, I just needed constant reassurance. No matter how hard the person tried or how much attention I get, there is always a nagging feeling at the back of my mind that I was never going to be their first choice, and no matter how much I continued to be there for them, I would always just be someone they work with.
And then when I start to get the attention, I pull away as fast as I can, because I'm afraid it will end in tears.
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1 comment:
This hit the spot. Thought I was the only one who felt this way��
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