Ode to infatuation...

By Seshie
 
Is this what infatuation feels like? It is heaven, and it is agony. It is beauty. It is joy. It is discovery.

And it feels SO good! Thank God for emotions, yah? :)

I feel it whenever I see his face… The way his expressions start in his eyes and radiate to the rest of his face – it is like seeing the transmission of signals from his brain, when the eyes react, through the nerves to the muscles of facial expression.

And that is very weird and very geeky, but he’s the same kind of weird and booky (we’re med students, after all)… Or when he gets all mysterious and broody *insert chills running down my spine*. And the reading never stops with him. Medicine, scripture, drama, autobiographies, newspapers, literature from far and wide, self-help, fantasy, folklore, poetry – as long as it is on pen and paper, he’ll read it. Dream guy already, right? But there’s more!

It is in his voice. So gentle... so very sure. He speaks to everybody like they were the only person in the world at that particular moment, and that says a lot about him. And, he is very expressive. You absolutely, totally get him when he speaks. You have no choice. His speech is colorful, bright, full – not lacking in anything. Oh, he listens, and when he does, he doesn’t have that “this is only a problem because you didn’t do what I said you should do in the first place” thing going on, like my former. He only goes for the solve when necessary, and even then, he makes you see the need for the solve. Or something like that… or maybe I just really like him, you know?

It is in his demeanor – he’s the kind of guy you get very, very, very comfortable around in a very short time. He’s approachable, he’s funny, he cares, he reaches out. You don’t have to rack your brains for a conversational topic, he’s already beat you to it. And even when you get those very awkward I-have-a-mega-crush-so-my-brain-isn’t-working-and-this-is-very-dumb-OMG-forget-I-said-it statements, he finds a way to put you back on your feet. Every time. He’s amazing!

It’s in his friendship, steadfast, strong, anchoring… the kind that gives you the assurance that no matter what happens, you have someone to lean on. Even if you haven’t spoken in a while. The kind of friendship that drops in unannounced for supper, the kind that hosts people at your place because you have better food supplies. Or the kind that buys food and has you cook because you do it better. The friend that eats that meal, that turned out weird and below satisfactory, and still savors it like it was ordered off the best a-la carte menu ever in the world (that omena incident, Lord!). Or shares his food whether you like it or not, and won’t eat until you’re eating too. God bless this guy!

I had a dream about him once, and you know how dreams disappoint because they're always better than reality? It wasn’t the case with him, because he is just that guy yaani. He’s whatever the situation needs him to be, gentleman, idiot, goof, sounding board, teacher… You name it. He’s reliable. Honest. Trusty. Hardy. Dependable. The entire package… with a ribbon on top – or cherry, depending on what you prefer. Or maybe, I’m just too too too too into him…

I feel it in those moments when I stare at my phone and wonder whether anyone remembers me, and if so why they haven’t texted or called… and all the more when I do receive a text from him. Triple points for phone calls… And it could be him asking about a class, for a textbook, for a movie, for tomatoes – anything, really. What matters is that it’s him! Oh, Jesus help me…

And finally..... I wish all this was one guy. One complete package, one perfect knight. With qualities like these, and his flaws, as well. Because this is me assuming all these pro’s will definitely make the con’s easier to live with – despite the fact that I should, and DO, know better. But we’re talking infatuation here, so whatever, yah?

This post is dedicated to all my guy friends, especially the ones I have had crushes on at one point or another in my life – those few days/weeks/months made life so much more brighter, with something (someone) to look forward to every day… Some might immediately identify themselves from a description category, others not so much, but you guys rock. Keep being awesome!


Love, Seshie ;)
(Visit Seshies amazing blog at www.salternative.wordpress.com)