One day when I was in 300 level in the university, I went to go see a potential "interest" of mine - who I had met on Facebook, in a class at the school. So I gingerly went with excitement in my heart and seeds of butterflies in my stomach. From her profile picture, and other photos I had seen, she was gorgeous. I hadn't known her for long, but I believed myself lucky - someone with a beautiful, open mind and "stunning looks". So I peeked into the class eagerly, looking for the girl I had seen in the pictures. I didn't see her. But I did see someone who could not possibly be the girl I'd been so interested in meeting.
I thought to myself, "Maybe she's late". So I sent a text, "Where are you?". Then she sent back a reply "I'm here in the class". Then she turned back to stare at me. At that moment, terror gripped my heart.
Unfortunately I could no longer run away at that point. So I dragged myself there, talked to her for a few minutes, then sneakily went to my ringtone settings and played out the tune. I pretended I had an important meeting waiting for me, and then ran away.
Now, I'm not one to put too much emphasis on looks, but I won't lie. As much as an interesting mind grabs my attention, deception is a very powerful turnoff. That incident made me severely distrusting of meeting people online, and even made me form a relatively bad habit of wanting to meet people physically in person as soon as humanly possible - just to make sure I wasn't wasting my time on a future disappointment. You might think that this outlook on life is harsh, but then again, the experience I narrated above is not the only one I've ever had.
It's like paying an expensive ticket to see Davido perform, then getting to the venue and seeing Speed Darlington. Let me get this straight for you. It's not that men only ever want exceptional looking women. What actually matters is 'expectations' and choice. See, if your looks are what attracted him/her - regardless of whatever other amazing qualities you have; cooking, intelligence, creativity, common sense etc etc, the 'looks' will always be a main part of the package.
Imagine going to the market to buy the latest Iphone, you return home with it, finally turn it on and BAM! It's an android. Is there anything wrong with androids? No. They're awesome! But we just want what we ordered. We want what we expected. We want what we chose.
There are many men who marry or date women who are obviously not the most beautiful creatures on earth, and many women who marry/date men who cannot be argued at all to be any kind of a 'handsome gift of God to women'. Because they knew what they were getting into, and what they wanted. The other qualities, whatever they might be, took a priority in their choice. 'Looks' were not the main thing.
Look. I get it. I do. You want to look stunning. Virtually everyone does. You want to be admired and attract other people - I get it. But don't expect people to always stick around when what they get, is not what they expected. It's a frustrating feeling. Especially with the common practice of makeup these days completely transforming a girls features to make her look virtually unrecognizable.
Of course, there is a very strong valid point of women who do makeup to make themselves feel beautiful, and not solely for the purpose of the gratifications of men. But this post is not about them, as you can see from the refreshingly obvious title of this article. It's about Catfish. People who purposefully project a false image of themselves to trick or attract others who might not otherwise find interest in them.
I doubt there's any woman/girl reading this who would be interacting with a guy who "can never be caught unfresh" and looks like this;
And be happy when he turns out to look like this;
But can true love blossom even in the face of such absolute betrayal of expectations? Yes. Of course. All things are possible. But is it common? No. I know they often say, "Dress how you want to be addressed", but I think this is an unnecessary twist.
Let's be real.
Thanks for reading.
Love, stars, and honest cats.
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