I've heard a lot of girls complaining that guys they reject don't want to be friends, and immediately cut off all communication and effort once they say "No".
Honestly, I'm a bit confused as to how this is a problem. So before I ask you ladies out there to explain, let me briefly educate you on the mental position of the 'testosterone blessed' population, on relationships.
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| Listen carefully. |
Now, a man can come wanting something from you, and after meeting you, suddenly decide that he wants something else. Either because he saw something that was amazing in you, or something that was just deplorable, or realized maybe he had made a mistake, or rushed into things. There are too many connections that can happen from all the scenarios above, so I'll leave it up to your imagination to process it at your own pace.
Now, If I want a relationship from you, and you're not interested, and offer me friendship instead - I don't know about other men, but I'm most likely NOT going to be interested. I can't be coming to a restaurant to ask for food, finding out they can't/don't want to serve me, and then deciding to stick around to give "moral support" so they can serve other people. I will go somewhere else.
Similar logic applies if you reject me, and I move on to your friend. As far as I know, you and I have no business again. You are not your friend. Analogy time - if one ATM at the bank does not dispense, I am going to move to the next ATM to give me what I need. A lot of you may see it as a betrayal, or claim that "you never really loved me". But please remember what I said above about a man changing what he wants based on discovery. If I find out that your friend has a better attitude, or is more interested, or simply has something I desire, my interest level will change. Suddenly she's no longer just "Clara's Friend". She is now someone I want to have a relationship with. You being her friend is now simply an unfortunate coincidence. Please, stay away in your faraway lane.
You see, if there's nothing I'm going to be doing with you, I'd rather take the energy that would have been used to do this "friendship", to look for and maintain someone who's actually interested.
Because honestly, me staying around there would be tantamount to letting myself be hurled mercilessly into the "friendzone", and someday watch as you generously lavish another man with all the love, affection and care that I hungered for. Instead of going through all that pain, I'd rather place myself on a diet from you, and find some other, just-as-interesting, if not better, acquired taste.
The 'friendzone' is a lock, that too few men in history have escaped from. And I, have never been a fan of prison.
Now think about it. Since you're not interested in doing anything with me that i want, why exactly am I going to be sticking around? To ask you how your day was? To send you goodnight emoji kisses? To comfort you when you feel lonely? To be there with a juicebox and warm meal at just the right times?
Just look at me pouring buckets of water into the ocean, when I need to have water back home. Na lie.
I have friends. Needing more friends is NOT why I came to meet you. If I get more friends, then that is by coincidence, and rarely by design. So unless you're offering something my other friends cannot, my dear girl - friendship is the last thing on my mind. We are shaa not enemies though.
But don't misunderstand me. Because I know you women of the world, you love to read the wrong meaning into things. I am not against friendship, or saying it is impossible to be friends with someone that isn't mutually interested in romance. This article is an explainer for those cases where a man simply just won't agree to be friends after you reject him. I'm also not promoting men who chase down a woman to force love and romance down her throat when she says she only wants to be friends.
I don't know what other flaws you will find in this article, but I trust your sharp eyes. You people can do all things. I await the criticism. I have popcorn and drink to read comments today.
Thanks for Coming
Love, Stars and Friends? No.
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15 comments:
Don't mind what anyone says abeg, this is very nice 🙌🙌
It's refreshing to have a peak into the psychie of the male mind, and the reason is very well justified. But again, not all women are as generously conditioned to want to be friends even even after having the difficult conversation of on which page they are in a relationship. Personal observations tell me women just love saying no. The reasons might be numerous, from it being a test, wanting to wait around until they find the interesting thing they like about the guy, or simply just the desire to make the guy chase her. A lot of women are in it more for the chase than the relationship in itself.
I guess, in my humble opinion, what I mean is that, if the girl has a problem with you not being friends after she has rejected you, she most likely does like you.
Was going well until ... "Because I know you women of the world, you love to read the wrong meaning into things." ... cringeworthy statement.
Loooool. Yeah. It's scathing I know. I apologize for any offense to anyone.
I guess I'm a bit pained by some stuff that happened.
Well... there's a lot of logic in this i guess.
As for the "Women just love saying no" and "being a test" part - This is why we have a lot of men that don't take no for an answer. Thinking every girl out there is just playing hard to get, when maybe she could be serious.
Again, completely understandable. Attention means a lot to a lot of women. And making assumptions based on behaviour that women think "definitely has a deeper meaning" in. Take the attention away, after we say no. If we are serious, we will say what we actually mean.
... sounds like a convoluted process. 😅😅
But who am I?
The whole point is to make the process less convoluted. We miss out on so many many things just waiting for the other person to pick up on signals. It's natural, for it to be so, as most of our ancient dating processes revolve around said signals. If we are to take the fact that human beings are part of the animal kingdom, the whole process of mating among animals, revolves around signals.
Having said that, humans, going further, generations after generations are becoming more and more impatient in their daily processes. The point of our existence has become to make our daily lives easier, and more "to the point" as possible, including matters of the heart as well. Trust me, it's getting there, haha. Obviously the whole change won't happen to the entire generation at the same time. There still will be the imbalance between women, that don't wanna waste time and just go and get their man, and women that love the good ol' toasting and chasing.
I honestly don't get this "women love attention" thing. Everyone loves attention and whenever "no" is said, there's simply little or no interest.
This is a wonderful post and it relates to everyone, not just the guys alone. We should understand that humans are people with emotions and feelings and also try to see things from other people's view. Concentrating on yourself is simply selfishnes. You can't tell me NO and still expect me to "hang around" when there are still over 7billion people in the world.
So much powerful sense 👏👏👏
Thanks for this. It's good to know what you guys are thinking... Since this happens a lot
I agree. It was a great article but started sounding a wee but personal
Amazing read! Dear writer, you could just wait a little longer at the eatery, with a bottle of coke you know? The chef might decide to cook you something later 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Thank you very much. I Appreciate it
Lmaoooo.
After serving 300 other guests first?
Is not likely I'll be given leftovers?
No thanks.
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