How to Dodge A Shot

*Dodge*   *Dodge*   *Superdodge*

We've had quite a lot of articles, and memes, and posts and support on "Shooting your shot". You know... go all out for the person of your dreams. Hit the nail on the head, be brave and all that.

But, have you noticed that no-one has ever talked about how to DODGE a shot?

Let's be honest here. Not everyone that shoots at us is our type. Or good for us. Or comes when we're ready. Most people assume every one is up and ready, waiting for either Prince Charming, or Princess Perfect to look our way. Some people are actually happy being single for a while, some people are just getting out of a tough relationship, and some people are looking for something you just may not have to give at the time.

Now it can be a little distressing when you're approached by someone, either in real life or over the phone, who wants something you simply cannot give at the moment.

I won't lie and tell you that there's a 100% sure fire way of dodging a shot, or telling someone no. There isn't. People are different, and you'll need to learn how to adapt to respond to unwanted approaches.

But hey, let's get into the dodge techniques before you get bored already.


1. Have an open mind.

This is very important. And we put it first, because if we put everything else first you may be wrongly seen as a woman/man hater.

The truth is, no matter who pops into your dm, you can't say for sure what the person wants until they say it. If not directly, then by hinting. Some people actually only want to be friends. Yes. It happens.

Also, the truth is there are times you will discover that people you thought you couldn't fit with, will turn out to be amazing for you. Sometimes even everything you needed. So don't be so stubborn that you're blind to see the colors you need, because it's not the color you've always dreamt of.

2. Set a line and place them in a zone right from the start.

See this line? Don't cross it. Stay in your lane, your zone, and your spiritual realm.

Sometimes people waste each others time because they don't address what they are to each other early on. Tell him straight. "I think it's nice you're trying to be my friend, and nothing else" or if you're in a relationship, use sense and stylishly mention it in the convo. "Oh my boyfriend loved that movie too".

There are many ways to set boundaries early on, experimenting will help. And if you don't know how, tell us your situation in the comment section, and we'll reply.


3. Stand your ground.

I cannot be with you. There is too much pepper in your jollof.

A common thing many guys believe is that you have to keep bothering a girl over and over, even if she says no, then she'll agree in time. This is further supported by the fact that a lot of girls really do change their minds after persistent requests, thinking that "If he wants me this much, then he must actually, really, love me". Some girls act stubborn intentionally and play hard to get because they think it'll make the guy value them more.

If you really want to dodge the shot, you need to be persistent with your no. Sit yourself down and elaborate reasons why you can't date the person asking you out, and be ready to defend your decision for as long, and as hard as possible.


4. Be polite.

How dare you tell me hello!!

Truthfully, this one should have come earlier in the list, but because some people, in an effort to be "polite" come out being timid, and this doesn't help their situation.

The thing is to be polite, because you have proper home training, and not to be "polite" to the point of apologizing for saying no, and then agreeing to his/her proposal out of guilt.

I have a friend that was told by a girl he wanted to approach, that if he didn't have an iphone he shouldn't waste his time. He thought she was joking, and sat down on the seat next to her. She stood up and walked away.

Now, you see, that's how to be inappropriate. Don't be like the inappropriate woman.


5. Block him/her

...Is he gone?

Sometimes no matter how well you try to be polite and stand your ground, some people just don't get the hint. Don't give yourself stress. Block them from calling and texting you. Block them from all your social media. Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Vibe, Wechat, Snapchat. Everything.

But be careful, they can go so far as to create fake accounts or use their friends' accounts just to troll you. So be wary of any new requests, and investigate them properly before accepting.

Even then, they might still get past your precautions. Prepare yourself. Don't waste time if you see any insults or negativity. Shift and delete. Some people are just crazy. They are obsessed with you, like moths to a flame. Yes, you are a fire, and you blaze so beautifully bright.


6. Refuse inappropriate meetings and talks 

Why are all your friends leaving the room one by one now that I've come in. Nuh-uh. I don't think so.

Don't tell yourself, "let me just hear what he has to say". It's a trap. Don't go to private or dark locations where you'll feel pressured. Don't go to his home, or private residence especially late in the day, or even without a trusted friend accompanying you.

Things will happen.
Run.

Unless you want it. In that case, go forth.


7. Inform your friends/family

Look at all the people I don't want to date.

Sometimes people may go so far as to contact people you're close with to tell a false side of their story, or get sympathy from close parties to pressure you. If it's getting excessive, or the person seems dangerous, tell your friends/family members beforehand that so and so person is bothering you, and you are uncomfortable with it. It's also important to have a second voice to support your story in case, God forbid, anything happens.

But be careful that you're not there forming, so that if the person chasing you ends up falling your friend/family member and they fall back, you won't get jealous and lay claim to what isn't yours, and what you said you didn't want.


8. Be ready to accept the consequences of any decision you make.

How could she stop chasing me after only 5 years. I was just about to agree.

Don't be surprised when a guy/girl who claimed heaven and earth that they loved you walks away to find someone else when you keep saying no. Some people won't even wait for constant refusal. They walk away after the first no. They say if an ATM is refusing to dispense cash and telling you "out of service" you should go and find another one. No time to waste.

It's also important to learn how to distinguish people that are good for you. Someone you met 5 minutes ago can have better intentions for you than someone you've been with for five years.

This doesn't mean you should drop your bf of 5 years the minutes someone new comes along. It means you should learn how to discern what's good for you and what isn't.



9. Be happy

Whoop Whoop!! Yay me!!

This is the most important thing ever. Remember, don't feel guilty if you reject someone because they're not good for you, or if they're not a right fit, or for any other tangible reason. A lot of people deal with this, and it's important not tl drown in a sea of misery because you think it's not fair you know how to swim.

If you want to be single, be happy with it. If you want to date, be open minded. Or even shoot your shot. But remember, dating isn't everything. Especially when it isn't at the right time for you. You can be happy either way.

Remember. You need music to dance. Not a partner.


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