YOU'RE FIRED!

The American Presidency for the most part is a performance for the optics. As much as it is a herculean task and powerful position, it is also an image, one which must be projected right.

Everything the one trusted with the keys to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue does, is more often than not, textbook stuff. From speeches and Interviews to body language, handshakes and smiles, down to necktie and jacket colors (I kid you not), it’s all textbook. Meticulously planned events and leaving nothing to chance. It’s all hands on deck to ensure the founding fathers are not rolling in their graves with their hands covering their faces in shame.

However once in every Northern Hairy-nosed wombat, there’s a little twist in tradition’s plot. There’s that “riddle wrapped in a mystery, inside of an enigma” character who holds office.

Cosmos has blessed us with one of those. Step forward; His Grace, Donald of house Trump, First of his name, King of the Land of the Free and Home of the Brave, Lord of the 50 states and the 16 territories and protector of the realm.

POTUS #45: Donald of the house Trump, First of his name.

There’s an unending list of features that make ‘The Donald’ (as he is fondly, or not fondly, called), clearly, an unusual president. From his extreme love for worship and flattering, to an extraordinary ability to start a row in an empty house and a tempest in a bathtub, to his cat and dog relationship with the press and his often baffling use of Twitter, he never fails to amaze.

One feature which stands out fascinating, is how he drops the sledgehammer on his employees.

“You’re fired!” was his catch phrase on the TV reality show he ran: ‘The Apprentice’. The show was typical Trump. Celebrities competed against each other sometimes fiercely to impress him while he dropped the hammer on those whose ‘worship’ did not come across sweet enough a smelling savour. Old habits die hard, some wise folks would have you believe. It’s certainly true for the 71 year old leader of the free world. He brought his sledgehammer all the way to the West wing.

He kick-started the ‘firing season’ with Acting Attorney General Sally Yates, who openly refused to enforce the executive order preventing the immigration of people from some Muslim-dominated nations into the US. Heroic as her open defiance was, she had a cute termination letter sent only 10 days after she stepped into the role. The innocent lamb made the cross-hairs its place of rest.

(Sally Yates)
The only way an open defiance of a powerful boss could have ended another way was if such a boss was The Dalai Lama or The Pope. Heroic stuff though. Stood a snowball in a microwave's chance of staying on the job after that.

Up next was National Security Adviser Lt. General Michael Flynn, who made the rookie mistake of meeting the Russian Ambassador, and negotiating on behalf of ‘Uncle Sam’ ever before he was even appointed. He of course lied to his bosses about such meeting which made it even worse. Acting A.G Sally Yates eventually recommended to the president that he be fired. After only 23 days on the job, the General was shipped out.

(Lt. Gen Michael Flynn)
Oh go home you rookie

Poor James Comey, former FBI director, learned of his own dismissal, from televisions tuned to the news behind him - as he was addressing staff members in the Bureau’s Los Angeles office (he really was convinced they were playing some prank on him). James did get his pound of flesh however, with a gut punch for a testimony before the Senate on the topic of the ‘Russian thing’.

(James Comey)
Man was absolutely convinced his employees were only playing a fast one on him. Boy! 

But like Alice Kingsleigh in ‘Alice in the wonderland’ once remarked, it gets ‘curiouser and curiouser’. The President hired Anthony Scaramucci as communications director, a man known for his colourful language, pettiness, fund-raising and most importantly, absolutely no political usefulness whatsoever (well asides being an expert Trump worshipper). The appointment didn’t go down well with Press Secretary Sean Spicer. It was the final straw for an already frustrated Sean. He was out.

(Sean Spicer)
Getting fired probably is not funny as this photo attempts to suggest. Was a real good guy with a really scary boss

Next in line of fire was Chief of Staff Reince Priebus. Already unable to effectively manage his boss’ (The President) erracticness and the unconventional structure of this White house (With advisers like Steve Bannon, Anthony Scaramucci, President’s daughter Ivanka Trump and her husband Jared Kushner  all directly reporting to Trump instead of the traditional ‘all roads leads to the Chief of Staff who then directly reports to the boss). Add to that mix, a bitter personal feud with Scaramucci, Reince was ousted in bloodless coup.

(Reince Priebus)
'A Jab in the front and pat on the back'. A real gentleman. Repeatedly undermined by his own boss despite being the most powerful White House aide. 

Guess who was next on the chopping block?

It was predicted that Scaramucci “wouldn’t be around for too long”. Well, he wasn’t even around in the first place. 11 days after his appointment was announced (he hadn’t even started officially), he got the Trump kick up his backside. Out!

(Anthony Scaramucci)
'What goes around comes...well, back at you like a sniper's bullet'. You never see stuff like this coming (From that photo, he surely didn't)

Now for all of Mr Trump’s ability to look into one’s face and scream, “You’re fired,” one person he has unsuccessfully tried to fire is his Attorney General, Jeff Sessions.

Jeff’s crime? The former Senator, a lawyer and a human - with at least more than half a functioning brain, recused himself from the ongoing Russian interference investigation, as he played a role in the events. The President interpreted this basic common sensical legal principle as personal disloyalty, and tried giving him the boot. Problem was, the Senate Judiciary already made it clear they are in no particular mood for confirmatory hearings for a new Attorney General. A classic and expected move, as Senators (anywhere in the world) are known to almost always have each other’s backs.

The President turned to TV interviews to rip his own appointee to shreds then followed it up with and yes, you’re right ahead of me, a tweet storm. All in a bid to turn up the heat on the former Alabama Senator to quit. Unfortunately, the man refused to move an inch.

(Senator Jeff Sessions)
I'm going to admit it's gotta be difficult firing a man who stares you in the face like this

The President only recently just brought in a new Chief of Staff. General John Kelly, who up until few days ago, was Secretary of Homeland Security. The rational is, if anyone can introduce some order into the White House chaos, (most of which is the president’s doing anyway) it’s got to be a highly decorated and disciplined former top brass military personality.

(General John Kelly)
THIS is the new White House Chief of Staff. Not sure he plays around a lot. Perhaps he'd finally come around to seizing the president's phone or logging him out of twitter

Whether or not the General can cope with THIS president and his unpredictability, while finding the best way to grind the gears of the World’s most political capital is left to be seen. Such ability is especially needed to help the president make new friends on a Capitol Hill that only recently just served as the gallows for his party’s ‘Skinny repeal healthcare’ bill. He needs to score a major legislative touchdown desperately (after scoring none in more than 6 months in office).

Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. Unenviable and huge is what the task of the General looks like even in its mildest description.

Till next time, enjoy this rare breed for a President of the United States. Enjoy POTUS #45.

Hail to this Chief!

By Obatuyi Olumide