The Stages of Credit Alert

First comes the sudden realization that you're running out of money

How can this be happening??

Then you remember all the unnecessary moi moi and candy crush coins you've been spending on

Did they do juju on me?

Then you start calculating all money that different people owe you.

Damn.. That 40kobo from 10 years ago is no longer useful.

Or you decide to call your parents. And beg them for just something small.

Please don't let me starve.

Then when they ask, you start  coming up with excuses

But the truth is that you were spending Davido money with a non-Davido bank account.

So then they tell you they will send you something when they can

Please, let it be soon.

So then you wait and wait and wait...

When is this money entering ooo??

And you check how long it's been to know if you should call again

But it's only been 5 minutes 

Then your phone pings and you start pre-rejoicing

Salvation is come

Then you check your phone and realize it's only a text from MTN asking you to register in 'a social app to meet people near you'

It's like thunder is being prepared for somebody

So you sit down and wait like a good child, for the dividends of your lineage.

Surely..... they can't abandon their beautiful child.
...Right? ....Right?

And then it comes. The awaited promise. The gentle kiss upon your finances. The only mathematic numbers you ever like to see. The sweet dream of every good wallet.

Godwin.

And you call your benefactors (parents or sugar-parents) to say 'thank you' in a sweet voice.

🎶You da, You da best.... You da, You da best🎶

Until next time.

When you have bought too much barbequed fish and Strawberry Hollandia.

Something must kill a man.

[I heard that if you comment below, Karma makes sure that credit alerts start heading your way *wink* *wink*]

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